NOTE--To claim your free issue of Country, click below for details. http://www.country-magazine.com/rd.asp?id=54&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=1371&firstname=$$firstname$$&emailaddress=$$email$$&refurl=$$refurl-link$$ If you would like to change or edit your email preferences, please visit your Personal Preferences page. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=1369&email=$$email$$&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Laugh Letter - June 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear $$firstname$$, Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. With summer temperatures rising, take a breather with these cool quips and breezy tales. They are sure to beat the heat and have you smiling as bright as the sun! --> You Heard Right --> Roach Humor --> No Lie --> Blooming Bloody Marys --> Saddle Up, Pilgrim --> Play Ball --> Picture This --> Role Reversal --> Don’t Go with the Flow --> Watching His Money Grow --> Boy of the Cloth --> Boid Watchers --> Puzzling Search ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You Heard Right ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A SOUTHERNER vacationing in Maine stopped at a small convenience store to buy some souvenirs. As he stood in line to pay for his purchases, the southerner was amused by the accent of some local lobster fishermen, who were in the store discussing the day’s catch. Stepping up to the cash register, the tourist commented to the clerk, “Some people around here sure talk with funny accents.” “Aye-yuh,” the clerk replied, “but they’ll all be gone by Labor Day.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roach Humor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TWO COCKROACHES are having lunch. The first says to the second, “You should have seen the kitchen I was in yesterday. It was immaculate. There wasn’t a crumb on the floor.” The second cockroach says, “Please, not while I’m eating.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ No Lie ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A MAN WENT into the fish market and found the biggest fish in the place. When the clerk said he’d wrap it up, the man said, “Oh, no. Just toss it to me. I want to tell my fishing buddies that I caught it.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Blooming Bloody Marys ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A FARM WAS SOLD to some city folks. The old farmer next door was out one day and saw the new neighbor planting in his garden. The farmer watched as the man would dig a hole, set a tomato plant and pour in a shot of whiskey. The farmer couldn’t help but ask what he was planting. “Stewed tomatoes,” was the reply. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Saddle Up, Pilgrim ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A CITY SLICKER stopped at a dude ranch and asked for the rates. “For people like you who can’t handle a horse, it’s $450 a day,” said the owner. Incredulous, the man replied, “$450 a day? You’re putting me on.” “It’s $50 more if we have to do that,” said the owner. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer? A: A puddle! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Save $50.00 on a 2007 Holiday Vacation! Plan now for your winter vacation! Summer may be hard on snowmen, but it’s the perfect time to plan a winter trip! We’ve got a great lineup of vacations for you, from relaxing pre-holiday getaways to Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day parades and a brand-new Alaskan Iditarod adventure. Book now and you’ll save $50.00 per person! Click here to see all our 2007 Holiday Tours. http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=2232&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Use code LL37 when you reserve to claim your $50.00 per person savings. Don’t wait to book your trip! Offer expires July 6, 2007! Cannot be combined with any other offers. World Wide Country Tours Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications 1-800/344-6918 5939 Country Lane, Greendale WI 53129-1429 http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=2233&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Play Ball ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ST. PETER AND SATAN were arguing about baseball when Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral ground. “Very well,” said St. Peter. “But you realize that I have all the good players and the best coaches.” “Yes,” replied Satan, “but I have all the umpires.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Picture This! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IT’S NOT JUST canines that experience the dog days of summer.  Click here to see the picture: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=1370&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Role Reversal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WIFE: I’m going to try something new this summer with the dog and kids. Husband: What’s that? Wife: I’m sending the dog to camp and the kids to obedience school. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don’t Go with the Flow ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TOM WAS DRIVING down the freeway when Lena called him on his cell phone to warn him about what she heard on the radio: someone was driving down the wrong way on I95. “It’s not just one of them,” said Tom, “it’s all of them.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Watching His Money Grow ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WHILE WATCHING a farmer loading watermelons to take to market, a little boy asked, “Hey mister, how much are your watermelons?” “From $1 to $2 each, depending on the size,” the farmer replied. “I’d sure like one,” the boy wistfully sighed. “But I only have a dime.” “Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you,” the farmer said. “You can have that itty bitty one over there for a dime.” “It’s a deal!” the little boy exclaimed as he handed over the dime and started to walk away. “Aren’t you going to take your watermelon?” the farmer asked. “No. I’ll be back to get it in 3 weeks.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Boy of the Cloth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LITTLE JOHNNY decided after one church service that he wanted to become a minister when he grew up. “That’s fine with us, son,” said his mother, “but what made you decide that?” Johnny was quick to explain, “Well, I already have to go to church on Sunday and it’d be more fun to stand up there and yell than to sit and listen.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Boid Watchers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A LITTLE BOY was hiking one day with older boys from a local summer camp. The campers were from Brooklyn. As they hiked along, one of them said, “Look at that pretty boid.” The little boy said, “That’s not a boid, it’s a bird.” “Well,” the Brooklyn boy said, “it sure choips like one.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Puzzling Search ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trumps General Store Puzzle http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=2902&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Featured Item from Country Store ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Little Humor http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=2903&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including... 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If this newsletter was forwarded to you, please use this link to sign up for yourself. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=1372&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ If you do not want to receive further editions of this Laugh Letter, please use this link to unsubscribe. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=1373&email=$$email$$&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$&OptID=38 To learn more about Reiman Media Group's use of personal information, please read our Privacy Policy. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=1374&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Copyright 2007 Reiman Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved. 5400 S. 60th St., P.O. Box 991, Greendale WI 53129-0991 1-800/344-6913 © Copyright 2007 Reiman Media Group, Inc.