Little Humor

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Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. With summer temperatures rising, take a breather with these cool quips and breezy tales. They are sure to beat the heat and have you smiling as bright as the sun!

• In this issue:
• You Heard Right
• Roach Humor
• No Lie
• Blooming Bloody Marys
• Saddle Up, Pilgrim
• Play Ball
• Picture This
• Role Reversal
• Don’t Go with the Flow
• Watching His Money Grow
• Boy of the Cloth
• Boid Watchers
• Puzzling Search

You Heard Right

A SOUTHERNER vacationing in Maine stopped at a small convenience store to buy some souvenirs. As he stood in line to pay for his purchases, the southerner was amused by the accent of some local lobster fishermen, who were in the store discussing the day’s catch.

Stepping up to the cash register, the tourist commented to the clerk, “Some people around here sure talk with funny accents.”

“Aye-yuh,” the clerk replied, “but they’ll all be gone by Labor Day.”

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Roach Humor

TWO COCKROACHES are having lunch. The first says to the second, “You should have seen the kitchen I was in yesterday. It was immaculate. There wasn’t a crumb on the floor.”

The second cockroach says, “Please, not while I’m eating.”

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No Lie

A MAN WENT into the fish market and found the biggest fish in the place.

When the clerk said he’d wrap it up, the man said, “Oh, no. Just toss it to me. I want to tell my fishing buddies that I caught it.”

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Blooming Bloody Marys

A FARM WAS SOLD to some city folks. The old farmer next door was out one day and saw the new neighbor planting in his garden. The farmer watched as the man would dig a hole, set a tomato plant and pour in a shot of whiskey. The farmer couldn’t help but ask what he was planting. “Stewed tomatoes,” was the reply.

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Saddle Up, Pilgrim

A CITY SLICKER stopped at a dude ranch and asked for the rates. “For people like you who can’t handle a horse, it’s $450 a day,” said the owner.

Incredulous, the man replied, “$450 a day? You’re putting me on.”

“It’s $50 more if we have to do that,” said the owner.

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Play Ball

ST. PETER AND SATAN were arguing about baseball when Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral ground.

“Very well,” said St. Peter. “But you realize that I have all the good players and the best coaches.”

“Yes,” replied Satan, “but I have all the umpires.”

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Picture This

IT’S NOT JUST canines that experience the dog days of summer. 

Click here to see the picture.

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Role Reversal

WIFE: I’m going to try something new this summer with the dog and kids.

Husband: What’s that?

Wife: I’m sending the dog to camp and the kids to obedience school.

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Don’t Go with the Flow

TOM WAS DRIVING down the freeway when Lena called him on his cell phone to warn him about what she heard on the radio: someone was driving down the wrong way on I95.

“It’s not just one of them,” said Tom, “it’s all of them.”

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Watching His Money Grow

WHILE WATCHING a farmer loading watermelons to take to market, a little boy asked, “Hey mister, how much are your watermelons?”

“From $1 to $2 each, depending on the size,” the farmer replied.

“I’d sure like one,” the boy wistfully sighed. “But I only have a dime.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you,” the farmer said. “You can have that itty bitty one over there for a dime.”

“It’s a deal!” the little boy exclaimed as he handed over the dime and started to walk away.

“Aren’t you going to take your watermelon?” the farmer asked.

“No. I’ll be back to get it in 3 weeks.”

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Boy of the Cloth

LITTLE JOHNNY decided after one church service that he wanted to become a minister when he grew up.

“That’s fine with us, son,” said his mother, “but what made you decide that?”

Johnny was quick to explain, “Well, I already have to go to church on Sunday and it’d be more fun to stand up there and yell than to sit and listen.”

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Boid Watchers

A LITTLE BOY was hiking one day with older boys from a local summer camp.

The campers were from Brooklyn. As they hiked along, one of them said, “Look at that pretty boid.”

The little boy said, “That’s not a boid, it’s a bird.”

“Well,” the Brooklyn boy said, “it sure choips like one.”

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Puzzling Search

Fitting all the pieces together is just the first fun challenge with this hidden-object 1,000-piece puzzle. The image shows a scene from an old fashioned general store that is filled with hidden everyday objects just waiting to be uncovered! Can you find all 153 hidden items? Order your Trumps General Store Puzzle today from Country Store.

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