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Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. Hopefully, the April weather doesn’t have you fooled into thinking spring has gone into hiding! If rainy days are bringing you down, this month’s selection of jokes may help brighten things up.

• In this issue:
• Passing the Torch
• Pinch Runner Needed
• Religious Experience
• Very Tactful
• And the Chips Fell
• Ketchup or Mustard
• Picture This
• Just Passing Through
• Watch Your Step
• Throwing in the Towel
• Collective Wisdom
• Puzzling Experience
• Get Even More Laughs!

Passing the Torch

AN AUTHORITY on African animals was giving a lecture. When he finished, he asked for questions.

One man stood up and asked, "Is it true that the wild animals in Africa won’t bother you if you carry a lighted torch?"

The speaker replied, "That depends on how fast you carry it."

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Pinch Runner Needed

A HORSE SHOWED up at a baseball training camp and asked for a tryout. The manager was shocked! Not only was this a talking horse, but he wanted to play baseball.

So he put the horse in the outfield, where the horse caught all the balls hit to him. In the infield, he always made the right play.

When it came time to bat in a game, the horse hit a long line drive between the outfielders. But then the horse just stood at the plate.

"Run!" the manager shouted. "Run!"

The horse turned to the manager and said, "If I could run, I’d be at the race track."

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Religious Experience

A CHARTERED BUS was rolling along the highway to a football game when one rider turned to his companion and said, "I feel guilty. Here it’s Sunday and I’m going to a football game instead of church."

"What would you be doing in church?" his friend asked.

"Listening to the sermon," the man replied.

"Well, why don’t you act as if you were in church listening to the sermon," the friend suggested.

The man thought this was a terrific idea. So he settled back into his seat and fell asleep.

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Very Tactful

A MOTHER SENT her son to the store for a dozen diapers for the baby. The diapers cost $2.99, and she gave the boy $3, saying he could use the penny change for a piece of bubble gum.

At the store, the clerk bagged the diapers for the boy, then said, "That will be $2.99, plus 6 cents tax."

The boy said, "We don’t want tacks. Mom puts them on with safety pins."

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And the Chips Fell

A BIG LUMBERJACK and a small lumberjack were cutting down a tree with a two-man saw. As they pulled the saw back and forth, a man even bigger than the big lumberjack came walking through the woods.

The man watched the lumberjacks for a while, then went over and knocked down the big lumberjack, saying, "If that little fella wants the saw, you give it to him!"

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Ketchup or Mustard

A MAN WAS walking on the beach and found a bottle. When he opened it, a genie appeared.

"Thank you for rescuing me," the genie said. "For your kindness, I’ll grant you three wishes."

"For my first wish, I wish for $1 million," said the man.

"For my second wish, I wish for a Lincoln Continental."

Then the man piled all the money into the trunk of the car and was going to drive to the bank. He turned on the radio and began to sing along, "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener..."

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Picture This

What has one head, two wings and dozens of legs?

Click here to find out!

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Just Passing Through

A LITTLE BOY got separated from his mother at the YMCA and wandered into the ladies’ locker room.

When they saw the boy, they burst into shrieks, grabbed their towels and ran for cover.

"What’s the matter?" asked the boy as he watched the scene with amazement. "Haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?"

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Watch Your Step

A SIGN ON the back of an Amish buggy read, "Caution, don’t step in the exhaust."

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Throwing in the Towel

LITTLE JOHNNY watched with fascination as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

"Why do you do that, Mommy?" quizzed the 5-year-old.

"To make myself beautiful," she answered. Then she began removing the cream with a washcloth.

"What’s the matter?" Johnny asked. "Are you giving up?"

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Collective Wisdom

A PASTOR asked a youngster, “Billy, do you know where little boys go if they don’t put their money in the collection plate?”

“Yes, Pastor,” Billy replied. “They go to the movies.”

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Puzzling Experience

You may recognize the Attic Treasures Puzzle as the cover image from the 15th Anniversary Special issue of Reminisce. The nostalgic items in this photo struck a chord with readers, and lots of folks wrote in asking for this picture to be made into a puzzle. We loved the idea and now this beautiful, high-quality 1,000-piece puzzle is available for everyone to enjoy! Order yours today from our Country Store.

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Get Even More Laughs!

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