NOTE--To claim your free issue of Country, click below for details. http://www.reminisce.com/rd.asp?id=43&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=1247&firstname=$$firstname$$&emailaddress=$$email$$&refurl=$$refurl-link$$ If you have questions or wish to unsubscribe, see the instructions at the bottom of this email. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Laugh Letter - March 2007 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear $$firstname$$, Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. We’re marching right into spring and will soon be hopping through April. We hope these chuckles will tickle your funny bone and bring you a basketful of cheer! --> A Limerick --> It’s His Call --> In the Army Now --> You Gotta Have Faith --> Girl Group Gags --> Picture This --> Hot Topic --> Just as the Doctor Ordered --> Automatic Signal --> Prescription Filled --> You’ve Got Easter Covered! --> Get Even More Laughs! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Limerick ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THERE ONCE was a boy name of Mark, who went for a walk in the park. He met an old hound, and unfortunately found that the bite was much worse than the bark. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It’s His Call ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A LONG, long time ago, God was mopping His brow after finishing a difficult task. "Whew! I just made 24 hours of alternating light and dark," He said. A nearby cherub asked, "What are You going to do now?" God replied, “I think I'll call it a day.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the Army Now ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A YOUNG MAN wasn’t thrilled when he received his draft notice and thought a few well-placed answers could help him fail the physical. Doctor: What do you see on that wall over there? Young Man: What wall? Doctor: Great! You just passed the hearing test. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You Gotta Have Faith ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TWO MEN were stranded on a desert island. One was very worried, while the other seemed to have no cares. "How can you be so happy?" asked the worried man. "We may never get off this island." "I make $100,000 a year," the other man said. "What does that have to do with us getting out of here?" asked the worried man. "I tithe," said the other. "My pastor will surely be coming after me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Girl Group Gags ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHECK OUT these potential names for female singing groups: Ann Otation and the Footnotes Emma Nate and the Debutantes Rose Stead and the Chestnuts Belle Free and the Ding Dongs Dee Sides and the Choice Maids Lily Pution and the Teeny Weenies Ann Gyna and the Heartaches Bea Witch and the Broomsticks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Picture This ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EVER WONDER what the Easter bunny does on his off-time? To see the picture: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=1248&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hot Topic ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A RANCHER from Texas was on a tour. Whenever the guide pointed out a noteworthy spot, the rancher always commented there was a bigger or better place in Texas. The tour ended up at the top of a volcano. The folks got out, walked to the rim of the volcano and looked down at the bubbling lava. The guide waited for the Texan to say something, but he remained silent. After a few moments, the guide asked, “Have you got anything in Texas that can top this?” “No,” the rancher said. “Our local volunteer fire department would put it out in no time.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a lion? A: Frostbite! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here’s a deal to “roar” for – get a FREE passport with your reservation! Save $97.00* per person! Book any Canadian or International tour by April 4, and we’ll pay for your passport-a $97.00 value per person! If you already have your passport or need only a renewal, you’ll receive $97.00 savings per person off the price. Visit countrytours.com for complete itineraries of all our exciting 2007 vacations. Use code LL34 when you reserve online to claim your $97.00 Passport Credit. Don’t wait to book your trip! Offer expires April 4, 2007! Offer cannot be combined with any other offers Click for complete listings of our Canadian tours: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=2058&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Click for complete listings of our International tours: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=2059&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ For details about U.S. Passports and how to claim your $97.00 credit, Click Here: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=2057&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ World Wide Country Tours A Reiman Publications Company Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications 1-800/344-6918 5939 Country Lane, Greendale WI 53129-1429 http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=2061&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Just as the Doctor Ordered ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A FARMER had trouble sleeping, so he went to a doctor. The doctor told him to walk 3 miles a day for a week, then call him. After the week was up, the farmer called and said, “I did just as you said, Doc.” "How do you feel now?" asked the doctor. "Much better," the farmer replied, "but I’m 21 miles from home." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Automatic Signal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WE’RE really living in an animated society. It seems that whenever a traffic signal turns green, it automatically activates the horn of the car behind you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prescription Filled ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE local pharmacist was used to answering all sorts of questions. When a customer came in asking for a cure for hiccups, the pharmacist thought a good scare might do the trick. So he quickly reached across the counter and gave the customer a hearty slap on the back. Apparently, he slapped harder than he intended as the customer lost his breath for a minute. "Did that cure the hiccups?" asked the pharmacist after the customer recovered. "I don’t know," the man answered. "I’ll have to check with my wife, who’s waiting in the car. She’s the one with the problem." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You’ve Got Easter Covered! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIKE the covered glass dish Grandma used to serve gumdrops in, our Bunny Covered Dish is an appealing accent for your traditional decor. Large enough to hold a supply of anything you want to keep handy, it is available in cobalt blue and pink. Order yours today from our Country Store: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=2785&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Get Even More Laughs! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SIGN UP for the humor newsletter "Laugh Lines," packed with the hilarity you love from Reader’s Digest. You’ll get jokes and colorful cartoons--plus learn how you can get paid for your own funny stories! 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