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Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. Spread some cheer (and maybe a few jeers) this holiday by sharing the gags below. Laughter is one gift that everyone can enjoy!

• In this issue:
• Daughter Thinks of Others
• Quick Quips
• By the Hare
• Snow Man’s No More
• Feeling Dated
• Leaped Before He Looked
• Resolve to Laugh More in 2007

Daughter Thinks of Others

NOW DEAR beloved Santa Claus,
please listen to my prayer.
If near my home on Christmas Eve,
leave just one present there.
It isn’t for myself I ask,
but only for another;
Please leave a handsome son-in-law
…for Daddy and for Mother.

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Quick Quips

DID YOU HEAR about the fellow who stole the calendar? He got 12 months.

Why did the farmer call his dog “Ink?” Because he was always running out of the pen.

Why are policemen so strong? Because they’re always holding up traffic.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake? It’s not my fault.

What did the person get who invented the door-knocker? The no-bell prize.

What bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.

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By the Hare

YEAR AFTER YEAR, Johnny asked for a rabbit for Christmas and was disappointed when he never got one. Finally, he surprised his mother and asked for a magic wand and magician’s hat. When asked why the change, Johnny replied, “So I can pull a rabbit out of the hat.”

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Snow Man’s No More

ONCE THERE was a snowman who stood outside the door.
He thought he’d like to come inside and play about the floor.
He thought he’d like to warm himself by the fire bright red.
He thought he’d like to climb upon the big white bed.
So he called to the north wind, “Help me now, I pray.
I’m completely frozen, standing out all day.”
So the north wind came along and blew him in the door.
Now there’s nothing left but a puddle on the floor.

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Feeling Dated

LITTLE SUSIE was looking at old family photos with her grandmother when she proclaimed, “So everything was black and white back then.”

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Picture This

Seems these two reindeer have a handle on baling the big guy out of this predicament.

Click here to see the picture
from Andrew P. of Hallettsville, Texas.

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Leaped Before He Looked

FOUR PEOPLE were flying together in an airplane—the pilot, a computer technician, a minister and a Boy Scout. Suddenly the plane developed mechanical trouble and began to fall.

There were three parachutes. The pilot immediately grabbed the first one and said, “I’m the most important man on this airplane, and I must go and report this accident.” He waved and jumped out.

The computer technician said, “I’m the smartest man in the world, and I’m working on a project that will benefit all people. It would be a tragedy if I were killed.” He grabbed a pack and jumped.

The minister turned to the Boy Scout and said, “There’s only one parachute left, so you go ahead and use it. I’m an old man, I’ve lived a good life and my soul is right with the Lord. Take the parachute and jump.”

“Sir,” the Boy Scout replied, “that won’t be necessary. We can both jump because there are two parachutes left. You see, the smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack.”

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Resolve to Laugh More in 2007

HILARIOUS quips and anecdotes from the mouths of readers' children and grandchildren fill this new book. You get 500 side-splitting "originals" guaranteed to put a smile on your face. These refreshing one-liners reveal what's going on in those little minds! Buy it today from the Country Store online.

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