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September 2006 |
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Dear $$firstname$$,Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. Summer has come to an end, and now’s the perfect time of year to “fall” off your chair laughing with the knee-slappers in this month’s newsletter.
Predicting the FutureTOMMY AND BOBBY were walking home from school and began comparing their parents. “My mom can tell the future,” said Tommy. “No way,” said Bobby. “Sure,” said Tommy. “All she has to do is take one look at my report card, and she can tell me what my dad’ll do to me when he gets home.” Habit-FormingSEVERAL ELDERLY NUNS were on the second floor of the convent when a fire broke out. The nuns calmly took off their habits, tied them together to make a rope and climbed out the window to safety. When they were on the ground, a reporter asked them, “Weren’t you afraid the rope might break since the material is so old?” “Heavens, no,” said one of the nuns. “Old habits are hard to break.” Teaching Old Dogs New TricksIF DOGS trained people, we’d learn stuff like:
  Arrive a day early or stay a day longer on us! Book any exciting 2007 vacation and get a FREE hotel night (before or after your tour) in the U.S. city where your vacation begins or ends. Visit countrytours.com for complete itineraries, including our all-new Newfoundland & Labrador Tour, Beluga Whale Adventure Tour and 2 fun-filled Surprise Mystery Tours. To claim your BONUS HOTEL NIGHT Hurry...offer ends December 1, 2006. Use promotion code LL28. Offer cannot be combined with any other offers.
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1-800/344-6918 Heavenly IdeasAN EXASPERATED MOM, whose son was always getting into mischief, asked him how he expected to get into heaven. The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll just run in and out, slamming the door over and over until St. Peter finally says, ‘For heaven’s sake, Jimmy, either come in or stay out!’” Quick Quips WHAT DID the muskmelon say to the watermelon? I have something that lets me look through walls. What is it? What’s the difference between a donkey and a postage stamp? Laughter, the Best Medicine - Special Collector’s EditionWarning: This book may be good for your health! Order Laughter, the Best Medicine from Reader’s Digest The Earth MovedA JOGGER came upon a man lying with his ear to the ground. As he got closer, the jogger heard the man say, “Green Ford pickup, male driver, dog in front seat, slick rear tires.” “You can get all that information just by listening to the ground?” asked the jogger. “Listening, nothing,” replied the man. “That’s the truck that just ran me over.” Date Turns the TidesAFTER a first date, the young woman says to the man, “You remind me of the ocean.” “You mean I’m wild, restless and romantic?” he asks. “No,” she replies. “You make me sick.” Get Even More Laughs!SIGN UP for the humor newsletter “Laugh Lines,” packed with the hilarity you love from Reader’s Digest. You’ll get jokes and colorful cartoons—plus learn how you can get paid for your own funny stories! Subscribe here. Oh, Henry!I ASKED THE librarian if she thought the book “Walden” gave a good account of the life of its author. She said it was pretty Thoreau. Beyond RecognitionA VERY DIRTY youngster came in from playing with his friends. He asked his mother, “Who am I?” Ready to play the game, she answered, “I don’t know. Who are you?” “Wow!” the lad exclaimed. “Mrs. Johnson was right. She said I was so dirty even my own mother wouldn’t recognize me!” “Wacky Waker” Alarm Clocks  Getting out of bed in the morning is a lot more fun with our “Wacky Waker” alarm clocks! The cow clock awakens you with “moos” and the rooster clock lets loose with “cock-a-doodle-doos” at whatever time you set the alarm. Both are made from metal and plastic and come with 3 AA batteries. They measure 5 in. wide x 7 in. high each. Order Cow Wacky Waker from Country Store On-line. Order Rooster Wacky Waker from Country Store On-line. This email was sent to: $$email$$ HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter! If this newsletter was forwarded to you, please use this link to sign up for yourself. Please do not reply to this message to unsubscribe. If you do not want to receive further editions of this Laugh Letter, please use this link to unsubscribe. If you would like to change or edit your email preferences, please visit your To learn more about Reiman Media Group’s use of personal information, 
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