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Dear $$firstname$$,Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. May brings warmer air and sunnier days. With the ground having thawed, great gags are springing up all over the place. We hope this issue plants a few seeds of laughter. Some may come up rosy while others may get tossed to the compost pile!
Change of HeartMORT WAS removing valves from his tractor engine when he spotted a famous heart doctor. “Look at this work, Doc,“ Mort said. “I take out the valves, grind ‘em and put ‘em back. When I’m finished, this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks when you and I are basically doing the same work?“ The doctor answered, “Try doing your work with the engine running!“ Shedding Light on the SubjectTWO OLD FISHERMAN, Jack and Fred, were talking about their prize catches from the past week. “I caught the biggest catfish I have ever seen,“ said Jack. “ It took me an hour to get it in the boat, and it weighed over 162 pounds!“ “Well, I didn’t catch any fish,“ said Fred. “ I threw my plug toward the bank of the mud flat. It hardly hit the water when something took it down, and I almost couldn’t reel it in. When I pulled it up beside the boat it was a big ball of mud.“ “That’s not surprising,“ said Jack with a laugh. “ You know there’s nothing out there but mud.“ “But when I stripped off the mud,“ said Fred, “t here was a lantern…and it was still lit.“ “Ah come on, Fred,“ said Jack. “ You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?“ “I’ll tell you what,“ said Fred. “ If you cut 100 pounds off that catfish of yours, I’ll blow out the light in that lantern of mine!“ Picture the AnswerHOW can you stop the cow from jumping over the moon? To see the answer, click here.
Q. What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves?A. RusselWhether or not your name is Russel, there’s a seat on one of our dazzling Fall Foliage Adventures with your name on it!  Don’t Miss out on the Fun and Spectacular Color! To see the full palette of fall color destinations, click here. SAVE $50 on your reservation!And, as a valued subscriber of this newsletter, you’re entitled to a special travel savings of $50 off per person! But you must hurry and reserve your spot by June 15, 2006. Visit our website for a complete itinerary and to make reservations. Be sure to mention Promotion Code LL24 to claim your special subscriber travel savings. Savings ends June 15, 2006. Offer cannot be combined with any other offers.
1-800/344-6918 Needs of the ChurchYOUNG JEREMY fell asleep in church and tumbled out of his seat just as the minister was preaching about what the church needs. To which Jeremy replied, “Seat belts!“Share Do-It-Yourself Stories!Lowe’s is teaming up Reminisce magazine to create a special Lowe’s/Reminisce Collector’s Edition dedicated to their 60th Anniversary…and they want you to be part of the celebration! You can join in by sharing personal stories about you or your family members…about parents and grandparents who hand-built their homes…the boom of post-WWII housing…unforgettable fab ‘50s and sleek ‘60s decorating…up to today’s state-of-the-art home projects! If we publish your story in the Collector's Edition, we’ll send you a special gift as our way of saying, “Thanks.” Complete details here! Two for the ChopsTWO MEN went to a restaurant, and each ordered a pork chop. When the waitress brought out a single platter with their order, it had one big chop and one small chop. The first man passed the platter to the second man, who helped himself to the bigger chop. “If you had passed the platter to me,“ said the first man, “I would have taken the smaller chop.“ Said the second man, “I don’t understand why you’re complaining…that’s the one you got.“ Mixed-Up SignalsA NEIGHBOR asked Jed why he looked so down in the mouth. “It’s those two crazy mules of mine,“ he said. “I hitched ‘em up to harvest my field of popcorn yesterday. It was as hot as could be, and the temperature climbed so high that the corn started to pop right on the cob. Those two mules thought it was snowing—they layed right down in the field and froze to death.“ Get Even More Laughs!SIGN UP for the humor newsletter “Laugh Lines,” packed with the hilarity you love from Reader’s Digest. You’ll get jokes and colorful cartoons—plus learn how you can get paid for your own funny stories! To subscribe, click here. Old Words, New MeaningsAccountant – Figurehead Bunions – Ache corns Gardener – Plant manager Chemist – Vial fellow Opthalmologist’s office – Site for sore eyes Sleeping pill – Nod ball Wig – An assumed mane Witches – Hexperts Wrinkles – Fretwork Give Us This DayCOMPANY had come for supper, and the hostess’ little girl was asked to give the blessing. “I don’t know what to say,“ she whispered. “Just say what I usually say,“ said her mother. So the little girl began, “Why did I ask all these people to dinner?“ And Here’s..."The Johnny Carson Show"
Order Here Is..."The Johnny Carson Show" from Country Store On-line. This email was sent to: $$email$$ HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter! If this newsletter was forwarded to you, please use this link to sign up for yourself. Please do not reply to this message to unsubscribe. If you do not want to receive further editions of this Laugh Letter, please use this link to unsubscribe. If you would like to change or edit your email preferences, please visit your To learn more about Reiman Media Group’s use of personal information, 
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