Dear $$firstname$$,
Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. Sometime this week you may come across one last Easter egg that the kids or grandkids didn’t find a couple weeks ago…and if you do, it’s sure to be pretty ripe by now. The same could be said for the gags below—we just found ’em under the sofa. (Suppose the dust bunny hid them there?)
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 - Photo: Judie Lepisto
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They’re Scared Silly
TWO LITTLE BOYS were bragging up their grandfathers. “My grandpa made a scarecrow so fierce that it frightened every single crow off the place,” boasted Alfred.
“You think that’s something,” retorted Archie. “You should have seen the scarecrow my grandpa made. It was so fearsome that the crows brought back all the corn they stole last year!”
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Someone’s Under There
LITTLE JOHNNY was in his bedroom playing with his toy fire truck when his mother walked in. “Mom, doesn’t it say in the Bible that man was made out of dust?” he asked.
“Yes,” replied his mom.
“Is it also true that when we die, we go back to dust?” he inquired.
“Yes,” said his mom again. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I was looking under the bed,” Johnny answered, “and there’s someone under there either coming or going.”
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Going for a Stroll
GRANDMA started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where she is!
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Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe join us on the Around Lake Michigan Tour?
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On your tour, you’ll...
- Relax and unwind on peaceful Mackinac Island, tour the beautiful Grand Hotel and enjoy its elegant buffet.
- Visit orchards, gardens and farms where you’ll meet those who produce blueberries, apples, cherries, flowers-even trees!
- Savor the scenic beauty of Lake Michigan’s shoreline, from the impressive Chicago Skyline to the breathtaking Door County harbors.
- Visit the Reiman Publications Visitor Center and fun gift shops in historic Greendale, Wisconsin.
- Stroll through gorgeous gardens filled with acres of flowers in full
summertime bloom.
You won’t want to miss this delightful tour filled with picturesque scenery, friendly people and fascinating history, especially when…
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As a valued subscriber of this newsletter, you’re entitled to a special travel savings of $50 off per person! But you must hurry and reserve your spot by May 1, 2006.
Visit our website for a complete itinerary and to make reservations. Be sure to mention Promotion Code LL23 to claim your special subscriber travel savings. Savings ends May 1, 2006.
Offer cannot be combined with any other offers.
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1-800/344-6918
5939 Country Lane, Greendale WI 53129-1429
He’s Just Horsing Around
A CITY SLICKER was driving on a country road when his car broke down. While he was under the hood trying to fix the problem, he heard a low voice say, “It’s the fuel pump.”
The fellow looked around, but only saw an old horse in the nearby pasture. As he put his head under the hood, he again heard the voice, “I said, it’s the fuel pump.” He turned to the horse and asked, “Was that you?”
“Yes,” the horse answered. “I told you to check the fuel pump.” Stunned, the man ran to the nearby farmhouse and asked the farmer if that was his horse. When the farmer answered yes, the city slicker said, “That horse could be worth a fortune.”
The fellow related how the horse told him to check his fuel pump. The farmer shook his head and said, “Don’t pay any attention to him. He doesn’t know anything about automobiles.”
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Picture the Answer
WHAT does a cowboy do when he’s really tired?
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Location, Location, Location
A YOUNG WOMAN inherited a home that had been built by distant relatives. Before she could take possession of the property, however, government surveyors had to decide whether it was located in the United States or Canada.
When they declared the home was just inside the U.S. border, the young woman was very much relieved. “I’m glad to hear that,” she admitted. “I’ve been told that Canadian winters are quite severe.”
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Help Is on the Way
AS both engines of the small plane started smoking, the pilot grabbed a parachute and headed toward the door. His departing words were, “Don’t worry about a thing, folks—I’m going for help.”
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Get Even More Laughs!
SIGN UP for the humor newsletter “Laugh Lines,” packed with the hilarity you love from Reader’s Digest. You’ll get jokes and colorful cartoons—plus learn how you can get paid for your own funny stories! To subscribe, click here.
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A Heartwarming Response
A FIRST-GRADE teacher asked her lively charges to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. “Stand and face the flag and place your hand over your heart,” she instructed.
Little Susie stood up but put her hand on her backside. “Susie,” the teacher said, “you are supposed to put your hand over your heart.”
“But I am,” Susie protested.
“No,” the teacher replied, “you heart is in your chest, not back there.”
“No it’s not,” Susie explained. “When my grandma comes to my house, she pats me back there and says, ‘Bless your little heart.’”
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¿Por Qué?
PUPIL: Teacher, you flunked me in Spanish. I can’t understand it.
Teacher: That’s why I flunked you.
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Bovine Philosophy
A MAN from the city was watching a cow being milked. As he watched, a fly flew in the cow’s ear. A moment later the man noticed a fly in the milk pail. He asked the farmer how that could have happened.
“It’s simple,” said the farmer. “In one ear and out the udder.”
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Hope For Some Laughs
 EVERYONE’S favorite funnyman makes his DVD debut in the three-volume set Bob Hope: The Ultimate collection. In Volume 1, 50 Years of Laughter, travel through 5 laugh-filled decades of entertainment. You’ll see Bob with some of the biggest stars, including Frank Sinatra, Lucille Ball, Bing Crosby, Don Rickles, Jack Benny and more! In Volumes 2 and 3, relive the hope and laughter that Bob brought to American GI troops every Christmas and watch rare outtakes and the funniest bloopers from the Hope archive. Combined total running time is 389 minutes.
Order Bob Hope: The Ultimate collection from Country Store On-line.
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