NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=679&firstname=$$firstname$$&emailaddress=$$email$$&refurl=$$refurl-link$$ Please do not reply to this email. If you have questions or wish to unsubscribe, see the instructions at the bottom of this email. Dear $$firstname$$, Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. Soon, little witches, goblins and Star Wars characters will be ringing your doorbell asking for treats. This year, you can give them a real scare without dressing up like Frankenstein. Instead, in a low, spooky voice, just read aloud one of the gags below. EEEEEEK! --> She's Worth Every Penny --> He Got What He Asked For --> Can Deer Really Read? --> Give The Kids a Rake! --> He's No Brain Surgeon --> Credit Where It's Due --> Grandma Was a Pedal Pusher --> Get Even More Laughs! --> Country Computer Guide --> Make a Date With a Pig! --------------------------------------- She's Worth Every Penny AN OLD FARMER had a blue-ribbon cow. He pastured this valuable animal in the best meadow, where there was plenty of grass and water. There were railroad tracks at the back of the meadow, and one day the train's whistle spooked the cow into running away. The farmer looked and looked but couldn't find her. A couple days later, the farmer contacted the railroad company and said he wanted to be reimbursed for his prize cow. An insurance adjuster arrived the next day and asked the farmer if he would settle for half of what he was asking. The farmer said yes, so the adjuster quickly wrote out a check. "Whew! That's a load off my mind," the adjuster said. "I was authorized to give you the full amount." "I'm happy," the farmer replied. "The cow came back yesterday." --------------------------------------- WARM WEATHER WINTER ESCAPES! "Melt Away" the Winter Blues and Save $50.00... WORLD WIDE COUNTRY TOURS, the exclusive tour operator for Reiman Publications Company, has just the answer with nine exciting warm-weather winter escapes! These sunny sightseeing vacations are guaranteed to chase away winter chills, and they're perfect for readers who delight in tropical temperatures and fun-filled cultural excursions. Along with some of our most popular destinations, this year's packages include a new $897 value tour! Take a look at these fascinating choices: Rose Parade Holiday http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1370&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Mexico's Copper Canyon Adventure http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1371&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Costa Rica http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1372&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Hawaiian Holiday http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1373&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Panama & the Panama Canal http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1374&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Heart of Texas http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1375&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ River Barging Texas Style http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1376&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Sunny Southern California http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1377&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Florida Value Tour http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1378&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ And as a Laugh Letter newsletter subscriber, you&'ll SAVE $50 per person when you reserve your place within 30 days. Mention promotion code LL14 when making your reservation to claim your savings. These winter escapes always sell out quickly. So don't delay! For all your vacation choices, itineraries, pricing and available departures, Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/RD.asp?ID=1369&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ World Wide Country Tours Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications 1-800/344-6918 --------------------------------------- He Got What He Asked For A TRUCK DRIVER stopped at a roadside diner and plopped down on one of the stools. A waitress approached him and said, "You look kinda down. What would it take to perk you up?" He replied, "A bowl of chili and a few kind words." She returned a few minutes later with a bowl of chili. "Where are the few kind words?" he asked. She answered, "Don't eat the chili." --------------------------------------- Can Deer Really Read? A CITY FELLOW who retired to a quiet little township in Missouri had a bit of trouble adapting to the country lifestyle. After living there a few months, he called the local township administrative office to request the removal of a Deer Crossing sign on his road. The reason? "Several deer have been hit by cars there," he explained. "You should find a safer place for them to cross the road!" --------------------------------------- Give The Kids a Rake! THIS TIME of year, it's harder than ever to stay a-head of the yard work. To see what we mean, Visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=674&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ --------------------------------------- He's No Brain Surgeon WHEN she arrived at the automobile dealership to pick up her new car, Mrs. Smith was told that the keys had accidentally been locked inside it. She went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As she watched from the passenger's side, she tried the door handle and discovered it was unlocked. "Hey," Mrs. Smith told the technician, "it's open!" "I know," the young man answered. "I already got that side." --------------------------------------- Credit Where It's Due "I LIED on my credit card application," Fred confessed to his best friend. "At the top of the form, I listed myself as 'Head of Household.'" --------------------------------------- Grandma Was a Pedal Pusher A HIGHWAY PATROLMAN noticed a car crawling along at a very slow speed and decided he'd better speak to the driver. He pulled the car over and discovered four elderly ladies inside. He kindly told the driver she should try to drive the speed limit. "I always drive the speed limit," she answered. "See that sign? It says 20, and that's what I was driving!" The officer grinned and explained that the sign was the highway route number, not the speed limit. At that point, he noticed that the other ladies were sitting stiffly, looking terrified. "Is there something wrong with your friends?" he asked, rather concerned. "Oh, they'll be all right in a little while," she replied. "I just turned off Highway 110." --------------------------------------- Get Even More Laughs! SIGN UP for the humor newsletter "Laugh Lines," packed with the hilarity you love from Reader's Digest. You'll get jokes and colorful cartoons--plus learn how you can get paid for your own funny stories! To subscribe, Visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=688&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ --------------------------------------- Country Computer Guide A READER from rural Kansas shares these helpful country definitions for the computer illiterate: Log on -- Making the woodstove hotter. Log off -- Don't add any more wood. Monitor -- Keeping an eye on the woodstove. Download -- Getting the firewood off the pickup. Megahertz -- Happens when you're not careful downloading. Floppy disk -- What you get from stacking too much firewood. Modem -- What you did to the hay fields. Hard drive -- How you get home in the winter season. Keyboard -- Where you hang your car keys. Software -- Plastic eating utensils. Laptop -- Where the little kids feel comfy. --------------------------------------- Make a Date With a Pig! YOU never "sausage" a calendar as our 2006 Pig Calendar! It features giant, full-color "porktraits" of all types of pigs, along with zany captions, pig-related facts and the "wurst" pig puns ever gathered together. Folks everywhere go "hog wild" over it. The wall-size calendar measures a big 13 in. by 21-3/4 in. and is printed on high-quality, glossy paper. Plus, get a FREE calendar for every three you buy-mix or match! Order the 2006 Pig Calendar from Country Store On-line. http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=1758&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ --------------------------------------- Featured Item from Country Store: Country Wisdom http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=1759&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including... Country is your ”window“ to spectacular scenery and friendly folks. If you live in the country...or wish you did, then this is your magazine. To subscribe or give a gift on-line: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=682&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ To visit our website: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=680&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Country Discoveries is for folks who love to explore scenic “off-the-beaten-path” places. Discover charming small towns…home-style eateries…cozy inns and more. It’s perfect for planning your next getaway! To subscribe or give a gift on-line: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=681&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ To visit our website: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=683&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Reminisce takes you on a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Written by its readers, each issue is packed with page after page of personal memories and heartwarming nostalgia. To subscribe or give a gift on-line: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=684&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ To visit our website: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=685&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Country Woman puts you “in touch” with other women who love country living as much as you do. Enjoy recipes, decorating, crafting and more! To subscribe or give a gift on-line: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=686&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ To visit our website: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=687&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ ------------------------------ This email was sent to: $$email$$ HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter! If this newsletter was forwarded to you, please use this link to sign up for yourself. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=678&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Please do not reply to this message to unsubscribe. If you do not want to receive further editions of this Laugh Letter, please use this link to unsubscribe. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=677&email=$$email$$&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$&OptID=38 If you would like to change or edit your email preferences, please visit your Personal Preferences page. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=676&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ To learn more about Reiman Media Group’s use of personal information, please read our Privacy Policy. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=675&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Copyright 2005 Reiman Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved. 5400 S. 60th St., P.O. Box 991, Greendale WI 53129-0991 1-800/344-6913 © Copyright 2005 Reiman Media Group, Inc.