NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=611&firstname=$$firstname$$&emailaddress=$$email$$&refurl=$$refurl-link$$ Please do not reply to this email. If you have questions or wish to unsubscribe, see the instructions at the bottom of this email. Dear $$firstname$$, Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. Labor Day will be here in a couple of weeks, and we’re looking forward to a day off! Of course, that doesn’t mean we put much labor into choosing the gags below, as you’ll soon see. But what the heck—this sure beats working for a living! --> A Fine State of Affairs --> Time’s Up --> Walking on Water --> Feeling a Little Squirrelly --> Wired for Sound --> Simple Explanation --> Going with the Flow --> Waking Up Grumpy --> He Grew a Foot --> Relish Old-Time Radio Shows Again --------------------------------------- A Fine State of Affairs THIS overstated quiz uses names of states for its answers. Which state will give you a refreshing small drink? Mini soda. In which state will you find a lady farm worker? Ida hoe. Which state owes something to someone? I owe a. Which state is a favorite of Lassie? Colliefornia. Which state is ailing and loud? Ill an’ noise. In which state can you watch a game? Tennis see. Where will you find a woman with a weight problem? Missus hippy. Where is everybody happy? Merry land. In which state is everybody unhappy? Misery. Which state is a heavyweight in laundry? Washing ton. --------------------------------------- What did the carving knife say to the sharpener? I'll be "honed" for Christmas. Speaking of Holiday Entertainment, Check Out Our Exciting Canadian Rockies Christmas in November Tour! Imagine turning your holidays from stressful to successful as more than a dozen notable chefs, decorators and beverage fanciers inspire you with their creative trade secrets. It's better than being in Santa's workshop! You'll learn creative culinary tricks, impressive holiday crafts and easy decorating tips. Hands-on-demonstrations include seasonal specialty drinks, delectable desserts and wonderful wine tasting. It'll all take place this November at Fairmont's fabled four-star Jasper Park Lodge, set amid the beautiful snow-covered Canadian Rockies. Getting there will be equally grand as you travel aboard VIA Rail's Vista-Dome streamliner, "the Canadian" -- one of North America's last great classic trains. Don't miss out on this wonderful 9-day winter extravaganza. Save $50 per person when you mention you're a "Laugh Letter" eNewsletter subscriber along with code LL12 For a complete listing of tour details visit. http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=1276&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ World Wide Country Tours A Reiman Publications Company 1-800/344-6918 --------------------------------------- Time’s Up GRANDMA was about to take her first plane flight to visit a sister in a faraway state, and she was pretty nervous. “Don’t be afraid, Mom,” assured her son, “you won’t die until it’s your time.” Grandma frowned. “That may be so,” she agreed. “But what if it’s the pilot’s time?” --------------------------------------- Walking on Water TWO ministers were fishing buddies. One day, they took a visiting preacher along with them. After a while, one of the ministers said he’d left his favorite lure back on the shore. He stepped out of the boat and walked across the water to retrieve it. The visiting preacher couldn’t believe his eyes. He had never seen such a show of faith! Shortly after the first minister returned, the second minister said he had to call his office. He got out, walked across the water, made his call, then walked back to the boat. The visiting preacher was quite amazed at their faith and decided to prove his own. He stepped over the side…and promptly sunk. The two fishing buddies looked at each other, and one said, “I guess we should have told him where the stumps are.” --------------------------------------- Feeling a Little Squirrelly WHAT do you get when you cross a hummingbird with a flying squirrel? To find out visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=610&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ --------------------------------------- Wired for Sound A RATHER FRUGAL MAN was becoming increasingly hard of hearing. He decided a hearing aid was too expensive, so he wrapped a piece of ordinary wire around his ear. “Do you hear better now with that wire around your ear?” asked a curious friend. “Not really,” the man replied. “But everybody who sees it talks louder.” --------------------------------------- Simple Explanation A COUNTRY GENTLEMAN was asked why he had never married. He replied, “Well, I would rather go through life wanting something I didn’t have than having something I didn’t want.” --------------------------------------- Going with the Flow DURING A FLOOD, a man was swept away and found himself clinging to a floating tree branch as he was carried along with the current. Finally, he came to a half-submerged house with a woman and her children sitting on the roof. He grabbed onto the roof and pulled himself to safety. He sat with the woman and children, watching the debris go floating by. Among the articles passing by was a straw hat. However, the hat was acting differently than the other debris. As it passed the house, it stopped, turned around and then proceeded against the current to the point where he had first observed it. The hat then stopped again, turned and moved with the current. Once again, after moving a short distance, the hat reversed its course and began floating against the current. The man called the woman’s attention to this strange occurrence. She replied, “Oh, that’s just Pa. He said he was going to mow that lawn today come heck or high water.” --------------------------------------- Waking Up Grumpy OVER at the local cafe one morning, a farmer walked in and sat down at the counter next to a neighbor. He thought his friend didn’t look too perky, so he came right out and asked, “Did you wake up grumpy this morning?” “Nope,” the neighbor replied. “I decided to let her sleep in.” --------------------------------------- He Grew a Foot A HILLBILLY walked into town and stopped at the general store to buy some new socks. Showing him some different choices, the clerk explained, “These are $1.50 a pair or three for $4.00.” The hillbilly scratched his head and said, “That don’t make no sense at all. Why in the world would I want three socks?” --------------------------------------- Relish Old-Time Radio Shows Again RADIO mysteries and comedies of the ’30s, ’40s and ’50s are back—on CD! Each collection gives you four hours of entertainment on four CDs. And every single radio program is an unedited, fully restored original recording. Old-Time Radio Shows: Mystery features eight programs including “Inner Sanctum Mysteries.” Old-Time Radio Shows: Comedy gives you eight side-splitting gems such as “Fibber McGee and Molly.” And the eight programs on Old-Time Radio Shows: All-Time Favorites combine the best of mysteries and comedies, including “The Adventures of Ellery Queen Order Mystery Radio CD set from Country Store On-line. http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=1664&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Order Comedy Radio CD set from Country Store On-line. http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=1666&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Order All-Time Favorites Radio CD set from Country Store On-line. http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=1665&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ --------------------------------------- Featured Item from Country Store: Scarecrow Decorative Birdhouse http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=1667&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including... Country is your ”window“ to spectacular scenery and friendly folks. If you live in the country...or wish you did, then this is your magazine. To subscribe or give a gift on-line: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=622&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ To visit our website: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=609&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Country Discoveries is for folks who love to explore scenic “off-the-beaten-path” places. Discover charming small towns…home-style eateries…cozy inns and more. It’s perfect for planning your next getaway! To subscribe or give a gift on-line: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=616&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ To visit our website: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=617&pmcode=$$refurl-link$$ Reminisce takes you on a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Written by its readers, each issue is packed with page after page of personal memories and heartwarming nostalgia. 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