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Country Discoveries is for folks who love to explore scenic “off-the-beaten-path” places. Discover charming small towns…home-style eateries…cozy inns and more. It’s perfect for planning your next getaway!
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Reminisce takes you on a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Written by its readers, each issue is packed with page after page of personal memories and heartwarming nostalgia.
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Country Woman puts you “in touch” with other women who love country living as much as you do. Enjoy recipes, decorating, crafting and more!
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Dear $$firstname$$,
Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. As your hardworking harvesters of humor, we hunted high and low for the very freshest jokes and riddles to share this time. Unfortunately, this year’s crop of gags isn’t ripe yet…so you’ll have to settle for the slightly bruised or blemished produce below. Sorry!
Next Question
THE most obnoxious man in the county was quizzing the local minister one day. “Why did God make my wife so beautiful and with such a talent for cooking?” he asked. The clergyman smiled. “So you would love her,” he answered.
“But why did He make her such an airhead?” the fellow inquired further. The clergyman shrugged. “So she would love you.”
When the celebrating jockey fell off his horse in the Winner's Circle, the photo caption read...
"Falls well that ends well!"
And speaking of "GOOD FALLS," there's nothing more colorful and exciting than a World Wide Country Tours Autumn Adventure! You can choose from a variety of their most popular getaways...including:
- Autumn in New England
- Best of New York State
- Autumn Romance in the Adirondacks
- Blue Ridge & Smoky Mountain Holiday
- Philadelphia Freedom & Amish Country
- Around Lake Michigan
- and many more...
These tours are the most popular of the year so hurry! Visit World Wide Country Tours today for all their fall tour details!
Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications
1-800/344-6918
Missed the Mark
THE GAME WARDEN stopped a deer hunter and asked to see his hunting license. After looking it over, he informed, “This is last year’s license.” The hunter nodded. “I don’t need a new license—I’m only shooting at the deer I missed last year.”
Going Once, Going Twice...
A LADY went to an auction to bid on a parrot. The bidding was spirited, but the lady finally prevailed and bought the parrot for an unheard-of price of $500. When she went to claim her bird, she asked, “Can this parrot really talk?” The auctioneer nodded. “You bet—he was the one bidding against you.”
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
AFTER living in a remote wilderness all his life, an old codger decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores, he picked up a mirror and looked into it. Not knowing what it was, he exclaimed, “How ‘bout that! Here’s a picture of my daddy.”
He bought the “picture,” but on the way home, he remembered that his wife, Lizzy, didn’t like his father. So he hung it in the barn. Every morning before leaving for the field, he went there to look at it.
Lizzy began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the hayloft and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, “So that’s the old gal he’s been running after.”
Four Legs and Feathers?
WHAT do you get when you cross a Dalmatian with an ostrich?
A Corny Story
TWO boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor, while the other stayed behind in the cotton field and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Covered Her Bases
THERE was a lady who married a banker. The banker died, and the lady married an actor. When he died, the lady married a preacher. The preacher also died, and she married an undertaker.
When asked about the wide range of occupations of her husbands, the lady replied, “One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!”
One Point of View
WHY IS a place packed with married people like an empty room? Answer: Because there isn’t a single person in it.
The Meter's Running
A MAN needed some legal advice but didn’t have much money. He found a lawyer and inquired, “How much do you charge?” The attorney said, “A hundred dollars for three questions.”
“Gosh, don’t you think that’s a lot?” the poor man asked. “Not really,” replied the attorney. “What’s your last question?”
Ever Dress a Pig?
NOW you can! Place “Priscilla” Pig by your door as a friendly greeter, or on a table as a whimsical decoration. She comes with six hat and cape outfits for all your favorite holidays and seasonal themes: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas, Spring and Fourth of July. She's hand-painted on detailed poly resin.
Order Dress-a-Pig with Six Outfits from Country Store On-line.
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