NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=464&firstname=$$firstname$$&emailaddress=$$email$$&refurl=$$refurl$$ Please do not reply to this email. If you have questions or wish to unsubscribe, see the instructions at the bottom of this email. ---------- Laugh Letter - December 2004 Dear $$firstname$$, Holiday greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. You may notice that most of the jokes below are pretty short this time. That's because they were written by a bunch of elves! (Bet you thought all they did was make toys...) ---------- TOO MANY PEOPLE get their exercise by jumping to conclusions, running up bills, stretching the truth, bending over backward, lying down on the job, sidestepping responsibility and pushing their luck. ********** Special Christmas Gift from your friends at WWCT! EVERYONE needs something special to look forwards to so plan now and make 2005 a year to remember by taking a great vacation. Choose from a rail, cruise or motorcoach tours to places like: Canada ( Nova Scotia or the Canadian Rookies) http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=850 Europe ( Germany, Scandinavia, Ireland, or springtime in Holland) http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=851 United States (Famous National Parks our west, River Barging through America’s Heartland, Alaska… our last frontier, or Famous Fall Foliage) http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=852 To make your travel decision even easier we’re offering subscribers $75 off per person when you reserve by Jan. 31. Mention promotion code LL05 to receive your savings. Call 1-800-344-6918 or visit www.countrytours.com. For complete itineraries and savings information, visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=853 Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications 1-800/344-6918 ********** Tall Order THERE was a sign in a small-town diner that read: "Win $100 if you can order something we don't have." A tourist walked into the diner, saw the sign and decided to take up the challenge. When the waitress came over to him, he said, "I'll have fried elephant ears on a bun." Minutes later, the waitress returned and announced. "Okay, mister, you win. We just ran out of buns." ---------- Something's Fishy Here ONE DAY, Joe saw a squirrel running back and forth along the shore of the lake where he was fishing. There was an acorn sitting on a log in the water a few feet from the bank, and the squirrel was determined to get it. Finally, the squirrel worked up the nerve to dive for the acorn. Just as he did, the largest bass Joe had ever seen lunged out of the water and swallowed the squirrel whole! Joe hurried to his tackle box for a lure that looked like a squirrel. He tied the closest thing he could find to his line. But before he could cast, the bass popped out of the water and placed another acorn on the log. ---------- Santa Sightings Bring Smiles IT'S NOT a country Christmas without some clever Clauses. To see what we mean: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=465 ---------- Cut It Shorter Next Time DURING an especially long sermon, Glen got up and walked out of church. He returned just before the service was over. Later, the pastor said to him, "I saw you leave during the sermon, Glen. Where did you go?" "I went to get a haircut," Glen replied. The pastor looked surprised and asked, "Why didn't you get one before the service?" "I didn't need one then." ---------- Rosy Situation WHAT would you have if everyone in the country drove a pink Cadillac? A pink car nation. ---------- He's Not So Smart AN OLD FARMER was considered to be the wisest man in the county. His neighbor asked him, "How did you get to be so wise?" "From good judgment," he replied. The neighbor nodded. "And where did you get your good judgment?" he inquired. "From experience," the farmer answered. "And where did you get your experience?" the neighbor wanted to know. "From bad judgment," said the farmer. ---------- Worth a Cackle THEN there was the farmer who had two doors on his chicken coop. When asked why, the farmer explained, "Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan." ---------- No Wiggle Room DID you hear what Noah said to his sons when they went fishing over the side of the Ark? "Be careful--those are the only two worms we have!" ---------- Snowman Won't Melt THIS cute snowman "draft stopper" sits on a windowsill or along the bottom of a door, helping to keep the cold air out. He may even help lower heating bills! Snowman is 4 inches wide by 11-1/2 inches high with legs that spread 39 inches--that's over 3 feet! Made of 100% polyester. Machine wash and dry. To order the Snowman Draft Stopper from Country Store On-line: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=1271 ********** Featured Item Overheard at the Country Cafe Visit us here for information: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=1272 ********** THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including... Country Discoveries is for folks who love to explore scenic "off-the-beaten-path" places. Discover charming small towns...home-style eateries...cozy inns and more. It's perfect for planning your next getaway! To subscribe or give a gift on-line, click here. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=466 To visit our website, click here. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=467 ********** Reminisce takes you on a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Written by its readers, each issue is packed with page after page of personal memories and heartwarming nostalgia. To subscribe or give a gift on-line, click here. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=468 To visit our website, click here. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=469 ********** Country Woman puts you "in touch" with other women who love country living as much as you do. Enjoy recipes, decorating, crafting and more! To subscribe or give a gift on-line, click here. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=470 To visit our website, click here. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=471 ********** This email was sent to: $$email$$ HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter! If this newsletter was forwarded to you, please use this link to sign up for yourself. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=472&pmcode=$$refurl$$ Please do not reply to this message to unsubscribe. If you do not want to receive further editions of this Laugh Letter, please use this link to unsubscribe. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=473&email=$$email$$&pmcode=$$refurl$$&OptID=38 If you would like to change or edit your email preferences, please visit your Personal Preferences page. http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=474&pmcode=$$refurl$$ ---------- Copyright 2004 Reiman Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved. 5400 S. 60th St., P.O. Box 991, Greendale WI 53129-0991 1-800/344-6913