Dear $$firstname$$,

Workin' Up a Sweat

TOO MANY PEOPLE get their exercise by jumping to conclusions, running up bills, stretching the truth, bending over backward, lying down on the job, sidestepping responsibility and pushing their luck.

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Special Christmas Gift from your friends at WWCT!

EVERYONE needs something special to look forward to so plan now and make 2005 a year to remember by taking a great vacation.

Choose from rail, cruise or motorcoach tours to places like:

• Canada ( Nova Scotia or the Canadian Rookies)
• Europe ( Germany, Scandinavia, Ireland, or Springtime in Holland)
• United States (Famous National Parks out west, River Barging through America’s Heartland, Alaska… our last frontier, or Famous Fall Foliage)

To make your travel decision even easier we’re offering Laugh Letter subscribers $75 off per person when you reserve by Jan. 31. Mention promotion code LL05 to receive your savings. Call 1-800-344-6918 or visit www.countrytours.com.

Click here for complete itineraries.

Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications
1-800/344-6918

Tall Order

THERE was a sign in a small-town diner that read: "Win $100 if you can order something we don't have." A tourist walked into the diner, saw the sign and decided to take up the challenge. When the waitress came over to him, he said, "I'll have fried elephant ears on a bun."

Minutes later, the waitress returned and announced. "Okay, mister, you win. We just ran out of buns."

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Something's Fishy Here

ONE DAY, Joe saw a squirrel running back and forth along the shore of the lake where he was fishing. There was an acorn sitting on a log in the water a few feet from the bank, and the squirrel was determined to get it. Finally, the squirrel worked up the nerve to dive for the acorn. Just as he did, the largest bass Joe had ever seen lunged out of the water and swallowed the squirrel whole!

Joe hurried to his tackle box for a lure that looked like a squirrel. He tied the closest thing he could find to his line. But before he could cast, the bass popped out of the water and placed another acorn on the log.

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Santa Sightings Bring Smiles

IT'S NOT a country Christmas without some clever Clauses.

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Cut It Shorter Next Time

DURING an especially long sermon, Glen got up and walked out of church. He returned just before the service was over. Later, the pastor said to him, "I saw you leave during the sermon, Glen. Where did you go?"

"I went to get a haircut," Glen replied. The pastor looked surprised and asked, "Why didn't you get one before the service?"

"I didn't need one then."

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Rosy Situation

WHAT would you have if everyone in the country drove a pink Cadillac? A pink car nation.

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He's Not So Smart

AN OLD FARMER was considered to be the wisest man in the county. His neighbor asked him, "How did you get to be so wise?"

• "From good judgment," he replied. The neighbor nodded.
• "And where did you get your good judgment?" he inquired.
• "From experience," the farmer answered.
• "And where did you get your experience?" the neighbor wanted to know.
• "From bad judgment," said the farmer.

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Worth a Cackle

THEN there was the farmer who had two doors on his chicken coop. When asked why, the farmer explained, "Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan."

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No Wiggle Room

DID you hear what Noah said to his sons when they went fishing over the side of the Ark? "Be careful--those are the only two worms we have!"

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Snowman Won't Melt

THIS cute snowman "draft stopper" sits on a windowsill or along the bottom of a door, helping to keep the cold air out. He may even help lower heating bills! Snowman is 4 inches wide by 11-1/2 inches high with legs that spread 39 inches--that's over 3 feet! Made of 100% polyester. Machine wash and dry.

To order the Snowman Draft Stopper from Country Store On-line, click here.

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