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<b>Laugh Letter - October 2004</b>


Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. We've come up with some real howlers this time...but don't howl too loud--with Halloween just a couple weeks away, the neighbors may think you're becoming a wacky werewolf!

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<b>Monkey Business</b>

YEARS AGO, a city fellow was driving through a rural area when his car broke down. Luckily, it rolled to a stop in front of a house where an elderly man was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch. The driver walked up to the house and asked the man, "Would you happen to have a monkey wrench I could borrow?"

The old man pondered for a moment, then replied, "Nope. I've got a few cattle...but it's just too cold around here for monkeys."


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<b>Oops...</b>

TWO rural families met to finalize the sale of a small farm. The buyers brought cash stashed in a cream can, but when it came time to count the money, they were $1,000 short of the amount needed to complete the sale.

After counting the money again and coming up with the same total, the farmer looked at his wife and said, "Mama, we brought the wrong cream can."


**********

<b>Smooth Sailing</b>

What did the customs official wish the ship’s captain at the entrance to the Panama Canal?

Lots of "lock"!

If you’re looking for a travel experience you’ll never forget, World Wide Country Tours offers you the only land & cruise combo package of Panama and the Panama Canal available anywhere! 

You’ll see the ruins of old Panama City, the majestic mountains of El Valle, the rainforest on the edges of Lake Alajuela, and more—including an incredible coast-to-coast crossing of the Panama Canal!

Plus, as a Laugh Letter subscriber, you’ll SAVE $100 per person when you reserve your place (all it takes is a $250 deposit) six months ahead of your departure date. Simply mention the Promotion Code LL03.

Panama and the Panama Canal--For complete cruise and savings information visit:
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==========

World Wide Country Tours
Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications
1-800/344-6918

Visit:
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<b>Bewitching Transportation</b>

MOM took her daughter shopping for a witch outfit to wear at the school Halloween costume party. They hunted in several shops for an important accessory--an old-fashioned straw broom with a crooked tree-branch handle. Finally Mom found one that was just right. "See?" she asked her daughter. "This will be perfect for you to take to school."

The youngster eyed the broom for a moment and frowned. "Aw, Mom," she replied, "can't you just drive me instead?"


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<b>Dying to Get In</b>

ALL the signs indicate it's going to be a humorous Halloween. 


To see what we mean, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=433">http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=433</A>

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<b>He Asked for It</b>

THE WAITRESS in a small-town cafe knew most of her customers by name and by reputation. One, a local salesman, was quite a talker. On a particularly busy morning, the salesman waved at the waitress and asked for a third free refill on his coffee. "Just a mouthful will do," he said.

Obligingly, the waitress filled his cup until it overflowed into the saucer...and kept on pouring until the saucer, too, was ready to overflow. Then she stopped, looked the salesman in the eye and asked, "Now, where would you like the rest of it?"


**********

<b>Different Point of View</b>

A COWBOY went to buy an insurance policy. The agent asked, "Have you ever had an accident?"

"Nope," replied the cowboy. "Last summer, a bronc kicked in two of my ribs...and a couple of years ago, a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle."

"Wouldn't you call those accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent.

"Naw," the cowboy replied. "They did it on purpose!"


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<b>Thrown for a Loss</b>

A DIME and a nickel were riding on a horse, and the nickel fell off. Why didn't the dime fall off, too? Because it had more cents.


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<b>Timely answer</b>

A TOURIST passing a farmer in a field stopped to ask him what time it was. "Just a moment," the farmer said. He crouched down beside a cow in the pasture, gently lifted up its udder and peered under it. "It's 10 minutes to 1."

The tourist was surprised. "How can you tell time by looking at a cow's udder?" he asked. "Well," replied the farmer, "if you stoop down and lift up the udder, you can just make out the town hall clock across the field."


**********

<b>Well, of Course!</b>

A FROG went to a bank to borrow some money. The teller sent the frog to see Miss Patty Black in the Loan Department. "What have you got for collateral?" she asked him.

"This," replied the frog, handing her a ceramic piece. After looking it over, she told the frog she'd have to consult with the loan manager. "There's a frog in my office who wants a loan," she explained. "But all he has for collateral is this thing, and I don't know what it is."

The loan manager examined the piece for a moment, then exclaimed, "Why, it's a knickknack, Patty Black...give the frog a loan!"


**********

<b>Something to Crow About</b>

LET a rooster be your watchdog! Our "Talking Rooster" has a motion detector that triggers a "cock-a-doodle-do" when anyone walks by. Great way to greet friends and entertain the kids. 8-1/2"W x 9-1/4"H. Two AA batteries, not included. PVC plastic.

To order the Rooster Motion Detector from Country Store On-line, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=1161">http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=1161</A>

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THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including...

Country Discoveries is for folks who love to explore scenic "off-the-beaten-path" places. Discover charming small towns...home-style eateries...cozy inns and more. It's perfect for planning your next getaway!

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<i>Reminisce</i> takes you on a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Written by its readers, each issue is packed with page after page of personal memories and heartwarming nostalgia.

To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit:
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To visit our website, visit:
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<i>Country Woman</i> puts you "in touch" with other women who love country living as much as you do. Enjoy recipes, decorating, crafting and more!

To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=439">http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=439</A>

To visit our website, visit:
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**********

Country Store Featured Item:

Laughter, the best medicine

Visit:
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