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Laugh Letter - August 2004


Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. Are mosquitoes bugging you this summer? Tell 'em one of the gags below--the little blood suckers might die laughing. (If not, just print out this newsletter, roll it up and give 'em a whack!) 

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Cutting Humor 

A TEXAS FARMER told his son to drive over the neighbor's place and ask to borrow his crosscut saw. "Tell him we need it to cut our watermelons," he added with a grin. 

A while later, the boy returned without the saw. "Sorry, Pop," he said. "The neighbor said to tell you he'd send the saw over for us to use later--as soon as he's finished slicing his cucumbers." 

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What Did He Say?

A RETIRED COUPLE, returning from a long trip, stopped at a country service station some 100 miles from home. The following conversation ensued: 

Elderly attendant: Shall I fill 'er up? 
Husband: Yes, please. 
Wife (in a screeching voice): What did he say? 
Husband: He said, "Shall I fill 'er up?" 
Attendant: Shall I check the oil? 
Wife (still screeching): What did he say? 
Husband (quietly): He said, "Shall I check the oil?" 

After the tank was filled, the oil checked and the bill paid, the attendant came back to give change.
Attendant: Thanks for stopping. Where are you folks from, anyway? 
Husband: We live in a town about 100 miles down the highway. 
Attendant: I grew up in that town. The most miserable girl I've ever known lived there. 
Wife (in the same tone): What did he say? 
Husband: He said he thinks he knows you. 

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You Know It's Cold When...

San Diego Residents Plan a Vacation Further South. 

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Panama & the Panama Canal -- Visit:
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Heart of Texas -- Visit:
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And as a Laugh Letter subscriber, you’ll SAVE $100 per person when you reserve your place by September 15, 2004 and mention the Promotion Code LL01. 

For complete tour and savings information Visit:
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==========

World Wide Country Tours
Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications
1-800/344-6918

Visit:
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Ask and You Shall Receive

TWO FARMERS bumped into one another in a country store. One asked the other how he managed to raise such a good crop of sweet potatoes when everyone else's did so poorly from lack of rain. "It's simple," replied the second farmer, glancing at the church across the street. "While everyone else was praying for rain, I was praying for sweet potatoes!"

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Must Be Hay Fever

THERE'S a lot of humorous harvesting going on out there.


To see what we mean, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=412">http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=412</A>

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To Tell the Truth

AS PART of a school project, a 13-year-old boy had to diagram his family tree and write four descriptive sentences about each person in it. Naturally, he waited to start on the project until the night before it was due. His plan was to start by listing everyone's age in the first sentence. After quizzing his mother about the ages of other people in the family, he finally asked how old she was. Realizing that the information would be shared with the whole class, Mom hesitated a moment before answering, "Twenty-nine."

Without skipping a beat, the boy glanced up from his work only long enough to reply, "Not in dog years, Mom!"

**********

Tub of Fish

MAUDE was busy in the kitchen when a neighbor dropped in to ask how everything was going. "I'm worried about Jake," Maude said. "Every morning, he gets up, puts on his boots, takes his fishing pole and goes fishing in the bathtub."

The neighbor replied, "That's terrible. Why don't you take him to the doctor?"

Maude answered, "I don't have time--I'm too busy cooking all the fish."

**********

Cut above the Rest

WHEN a customer slid into the barber chair, the barber asked him how he wanted his hair cut. "Make it short," the customer replied, "with a bare patch above my left ear, but longer on the right side so that it covers my right ear. I also want my left sideburn above my left ear and the right sideburn below my right ear."

The barber looked puzzled and said, "I don't think I can do that." The customer replied, "I don't know why not--that's the way you cut it the last time I was here!"

**********

Fowl Warning

TWO MEN were painting a barn, one on a ladder and the other on the ground. The man on the ladder spilled a can of paint and quickly yelled, "Quack, quack! Gobble, gobble!"

"What does that mean?" asked the other, now drenched in paint.

"Duck, turkey!" he replied.

**********

Talking in His Sleep

AN OLDER COUPLE attended a small country church, and the wife was embarrassed because her husband always slept through the sermon. She finally went to the pastor and asked if he had a solution.

"I think I can help," the pastor said. "When you come to church next Sunday, have a piece of Limburger cheese wrapped in a handkerchief in your purse. When your husband falls asleep, take out the Limburger and wave it under his nose."

The next Sunday, the pastor had no sooner started preaching when the husband again fell asleep. His wife removed the Limburger from her purse and waved it under her husband's nose. He stirred and muttered just loud enough for all to hear, "Maggie, you've got your feet on the pillow again!"

**********

Who Gives a Hoot?

YOU WILL every time this lifelike Owl Motion Detector sets off a realistic hooting when friends come calling. His head (complete with glow-in-the-dark eyes) turns and bobs, too! Stands 12 inches high by 4-1/2 inches wide. On/off switch. Two AA batteries, not included.

To order the Owl Motion Detector from Country Store On-line, visit:
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==========

THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including...

Country Discoveries is for folks who love to explore scenic "off-the-beaten-path" places. Discover charming small towns...home-style eateries...cozy inns and more. It's perfect for planning your next getaway!

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To visit our website, visit:
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Reminisce takes you on a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Written by its readers, each issue is packed with page after page of personal memories and heartwarming nostalgia.

To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit:
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To visit our website, visit:
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**********

Country Store Featured Item:

Overheard at The Country Cafe

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**********

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