NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser:
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<b>Laugh Letter - July 2004</b>


Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff. The dog days of summer are approaching, so we thought we'd share a few howlers. If your family and friends don't appreciate these gags, then maybe you're barking up the wrong tree!

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<b>The "M" Word</b>

A TEACHER had just given her class a science lesson on magnets. In a follow-up test on the subject, one of the questions read: "My name starts with 'M' and has six letters. I pick things up. What am I?"

Half of the students answered "Mother"!

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<b>Christmas in the New Millenium</b>

AS a little boy climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?" 

E-mail’s definitely a great way to plan for the holidays--including a festive 2004 holiday vacation from World Wide Country Tours. The Exclusive Tour Operator for Reiman Publications, World Wide Country Tours offers you 5 exciting and fun-filled choices: 

<b>Canadian Rockies Christmas in November</b> -- Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=612">http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=612</A>

<b>Canadian Rockies New Year’s Celebration</b> -- Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=613">http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=613</A>

<b>Branson Music Holiday</b> -- Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=614">http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=614</A>

<b>Old World Christmas Markets</b> -- Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=615">http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=615</A>

<b>Southern Holidays</b> -- Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=616">http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=616</A>


Reserve any of these delightful holiday tours within the next 30 days and you’ll receive Taste of Home’s Holiday & Celebrations cookbook--a $29.99 value--FREE! 
Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=618">http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=618</A>


Don’t delay, check out all your vacation choices and itineraries.
Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=617">http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=617</A>


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World Wide Country Tours
<i>Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications</i>
1-800/344-6918

Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=611">http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=611</A>

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<b>Not Too Bright</b>

THERE WAS a not-too-bright fellow who decided to become a counterfeiter. He hired an engraver of equal intelligence, and they proceeded to produce some counterfeit money. By some mix-up, the money turned out to be $11 bills.

Not wanting to waste the effort, the crook decided to head to an isolated small town where he figured he could cash the bogus bills. He went into a small country store and asked the clerk if he had change for an $11 bill. "Sure do," the clerk said. "Would an $8 and a $3 be okay?"

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<b>Within Range</b>

A DEER and an antelope were out playing on the range. Suddenly the antelope stopped and perked up its ears. "What's wrong?" asked the deer. The antelope answered, "I thought I just heard a discouraging word."


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<b>Good Sports</b>
THE Barnyard Olympics have begun!


To see what we mean, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=402">http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=402</A>

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<b>Say It with Flowers</b>

A SMALL BUSINESS had outgrown its facility and was going to construct a new building at another location. The person in charge of the groundbreaking ordered a floral arrangement for the occasion. When the crowd gathered for the event, they saw that the ribbon on the arrangement read "Rest in Peace". Everyone got a laugh out of the mistake.

Later, someone phoned the florist and told him how everybody had gotten a chuckle out of what had happened. The embarrassed florist apologized and said the people at the funeral, for which that arrangement was meant, didn't take the mistake quite so well. The ribbon on their flowers read "Congratulations on Your New Location".

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<b>The Bible Says So</b>

Q: What made Abraham so smart?
A: He knew a Lot.
Q: What vegetable did Noah not want on the Ark?
A: A leek.

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<b>Golden anniversary</b>

ONE DAY Ole and Lars met for coffee at the local restaurant. After visiting awhile, Lars said, "Ole, I hear your 50th wedding anniversary is coming up. Are you doing something special to celebrate?"

Ole answered, "Yes, I guess so. On our 25th anniversary, I took Lena to visit Norway, and we had a really good time. I thought for our 50th anniversary, I'd go back and pick her up."

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<b>Bark Worse Than Her Bite</b>

MAMA CAT took her kittens for a walk one day. Their pleasant stroll was interrupted when a big mean dog threatened them. Mama Cat went right up to him and began barking. The startled dog immediately ran off, tail between its legs. Then Mama Cat turned to her babies and said, "You see, children--it pays to know a second language."

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<b>An "A" for Honesty</b>

A BOY brought home his disappointing report card and rather sheepishly handed it to his father. After looking it over and mulling about it for a few moments, the father scowled. "Well, there's one good thing--with these grades, you're not cheating."

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<b>Direct Route</b>

A WOMAN was stopped by a police officer, who asked her why she was driving 66 miles per hour when the speed limit was 35. The lady replied, "But, officer, I saw a sign that said 66." The officer patiently explained, "Ma'am, that is the route number, not the speed limit."

"Oh, goodness, officer!" the lady exclaimed. "It's a good thing you didn't see me on Route 109."

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<b>Don't Forget Your Medicine</b>

CELEBRATE 50 years of humor from Reader's Digest in the new softcover book, Laughter, the Best Medicine. It's packed with over 600 of the funniest jokes, riddles and more, submitted by readers and quoted from famous comedians. This 216-page collection measures 5-1/4" x 7-1/4".

To order Laughter, the Best Medicine from Country Store On-line, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=982">http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=982</A>

==========

THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including...

Country is your "window" to the most spectacular scenery and friendliest folks anywhere! If you live in the country...or wish you did, then this is your magazine. 

To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=398">http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=398</A>

To visit our website, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=399">http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=399</A>


Country Woman puts you "in touch" with other women who love country living as much as you do. Enjoy recipes, decorating, crafting and more!

To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=400">http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=400</A>

To visit our website, visit:
<A HREF="http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=401">http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=401</A>

**********

Country Store Featured Item:

<b>Bilz Gift Maze</b>


Visit:
<A HREF="http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=983">http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=983</A>

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