THIS NEWSLETTER
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Country is your
"window" to the most spectacular scenery and friendliest
folks anywhere! If you live in the country...or wish you did,
then this is your magazine. To subscribe
or give a gift on-line,
click here.
To visit our website,
click here. |
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Country Woman puts
you "in touch" with other women who love country
living as much as you do. Enjoy recipes, decorating, crafting
and more!
To subscribe or give a gift on-line,
click here.
To visit our website,
click here. |
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Dear $$firstname$$,
Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff.
The dog days of summer are approaching, so we thought we'd
share a few howlers. If your family and friends don't appreciate
these gags, then maybe you're barking up the wrong tree! |
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The "M" Word
A TEACHER had just given her class a science
lesson on magnets. In a follow-up test on the subject, one of
the questions read: "My name starts with 'M' and has six
letters. I pick things up. What am I?"
Half of the students answered "Mother"! |
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Not Too Bright
THERE WAS a not-too-bright fellow who decided
to become a counterfeiter. He hired an engraver of equal intelligence,
and they proceeded to produce some counterfeit money. By some
mix-up, the money turned out to be $11 bills.
Not wanting to waste the effort, the crook decided to head to
an isolated small town where he figured he could cash the bogus
bills. He went into a small country store and asked the clerk
if he had change for an $11 bill. "Sure do," the clerk
said. "Would an $8 and a $3 be okay?" |
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Within Range
A DEER and an antelope were out playing on
the range. Suddenly the antelope stopped and perked up its ears.
"What's wrong?" asked the deer. The antelope answered,
"I thought I just heard a discouraging word."
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Good Sports
THE Barnyard Olympics have begun!
To see what we mean, click
here. |
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Say It with Flowers
A SMALL BUSINESS had outgrown its facility
and was going to construct a new building at another location.
The person in charge of the groundbreaking ordered a floral
arrangement for the occasion. When the crowd gathered for the
event, they saw that the ribbon on the arrangement read "Rest
in Peace". Everyone got a laugh out of the mistake.
Later, someone phoned the florist and told him how everybody
had gotten a chuckle out of what had happened. The embarrassed
florist apologized and said the people at the funeral, for which
that arrangement was meant, didn't take the mistake quite so
well. The ribbon on their flowers read "Congratulations
on Your New Location". |
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The Bible Says So
Q: What made Abraham so smart?
A: He knew a Lot.
Q: What vegetable did Noah not want on the Ark?
A: A leek. |
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Golden anniversary
ONE DAY Ole and Lars met for coffee at the
local restaurant. After visiting awhile, Lars said, "Ole,
I hear your 50th wedding anniversary is coming up. Are you doing
something special to celebrate?"
Ole answered, "Yes, I guess so. On our 25th anniversary,
I took Lena to visit Norway, and we had a really good time.
I thought for our 50th anniversary, I'd go back and pick her
up." |
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Bark Worse Than Her Bite
MAMA CAT took her kittens for a walk
one day. Their pleasant stroll was interrupted when a big mean
dog threatened them. Mama Cat went right up to him and began
barking. The startled dog immediately ran off, tail between
its legs. Then Mama Cat turned to her babies and said, "You
see, children--it pays to know a second language." |
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An "A" for Honesty
A BOY brought home his disappointing
report card and rather sheepishly handed it to his father. After
looking it over and mulling about it for a few moments, the
father scowled. "Well, there's one good thing--with these
grades, you're not cheating." |
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Direct Route
A WOMAN was stopped by a police officer, who
asked her why she was driving 66 miles per hour when the speed
limit was 35. The lady replied, "But, officer, I saw a
sign that said 66." The officer patiently explained, "Ma'am,
that is the route number, not the speed limit."
"Oh, goodness, officer!" the lady exclaimed. "It's
a good thing you didn't see me on Route 109." |
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Don't Forget Your Medicine
CELEBRATE 50 years of humor from Reader's
Digest in the new softcover book, Laughter, the Best Medicine.
It's packed with over 600 of the funniest jokes, riddles
and more, submitted by readers and quoted from famous
comedians. This 216-page collection measures 5-1/4"
x 7-1/4".
To order Laughter, the Best
Medicine from Country Store On-line, click
here. |
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