NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=388&firstname=$$firstname$$&emailaddress=$$email$$ ========== Laugh Letter - June 2004 Dear $$firstname$$, Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff! Flag Day and Father's Day may be behind us, but here's a silly suggestion: Run one (or more) of these gags up the flag pole and see if Dad salutes! ********** Secret of Long Marriage AT A PARTY celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, the husband was asked to share the secret to such a long relationship. "That's easy," he replied. "First and foremost, you have to love your partner. And if you have an argument, the wife should always have the last word. If the husband has the last word, that's just the start of another argument." ********** What's the "Peek" Time to Travel? AUTUMN! With the countryside aglow in spectacular fall colors, September and early October bring out the leaf-watchers all across North America. And there's no better way to take a peek yourself than on a colorful Fall Foliage Adventure with World Wide Country Tours, the Exclusive Tour Operator for Reiman Publications. Choose from 13 dazzling destinations, including: Autumn in New England -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=561 River Barge Autumn Adventure -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=562 Philadelphia Freedom & Amish Country -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=563 Blue Ridge Country Holiday -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=564 Around Lake Michigan -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=565 Ohio's Amish Country -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=566 Best of New York State -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=567 For all your choices and itineraries, visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=568 ========== World Wide Country Tours Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications 1-800/344-6918 Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=568 ********** Mealtime Blessing A HARRIED HOUSEWIFE spent much of the day preparing dinner for company. That evening as they were ready to eat, she asked her 3-year-old daughter to say the blessing. The little girl was shy and told her mom she didn't know what to say. Her mother instructed, "Just say what you've heard Mommy say." So the youngster bowed her little head and said, "Oh, Lord, why did I invite these people to have supper with us? Amen." ********** Who Gives a Toot? HERE'S a favorite tongue-twister from Robert S. of Freedom, Indiana: A tooter who tooted the flute Tried to teach two young tooters to toot. Said the two to the tooter, "Is it harder to toot, Or to tutor two tooters to toot?" ********** Let the Games Begin! THE Summer Olympics are coming up, and athletes are training in barnyards across America! To see what we mean, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=393 ********** Sizzling Sermon DURING horse-and-buggy days in the Deep South, a preacher rode 15 miles in blistering heat to preside at a small-town church service. When he got to the church, only one man was there. The man told the preacher, "I'm sure no one else will be coming--you may as well go back home." "Nonsense," replied the preacher. "If you went to feed your cows and there was only one, would you go home and not feed the one cow?" The man agreed that he would feed the one cow. So the determined preacher began delivering his sermon and went on and on. After an hour, the man stood up and interrupted. "If only one cow showed up, I'd feed her...but I sure wouldn't give her the whole load!" ********** It Bears Repeating A SECOND-GRADER came home one afternoon with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face. "Mother," he said, "suppose you were walking along and a bear started chasing you. If there was a deep ditch on one side and a high bank on the other side and a church full of people in front of you, what would you do?" Without hesitation, the boy's mother replied, "I'd run into the church, of course." The boy shook his head as the twinkle deepened and the smile broadened. "You'd really go to church with a bear behind?" ********** By the Numbers HAVE YOU HEARD the one about the woman who married several times? Her first husband was a millionaire...her second was an actor...the third was a minister...and the fourth an undertaker. That's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go! ********** A Matter of Degree AN OLD FARMER and his wife had scrimped and saved to send their son off to college. Four years later, the young man graduated with honors. Then he came back home to work on the farm. The old farmer was downtown one day picking up supplies and ran into his neighbor, who asked, "Now that Johnny's back from college, do you notice a change in him?" The old farmer scratched his head and replied, "Well, before he left, he'd tell the mule, 'Whoa, Becky...Giddap, go!' when he was plowing. Now he says, 'Halt, Rebecca...pivot and proceed!'" ********** A Hamburger Humdinger COWABUNGA! This humorous T-shirt spills the beans about burgers in an eye-catching, rib-tickling way. Printed on red, this 100% cotton shirt will be the talk of your next get-together. It reads "Hamburgers are made of WHAT?" Straight bottom. U.S-made and imported. To order the Hamburgers T-shirt from Country Store On-line, visit: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=955 ========== THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including... Country is your "window" to the most spectacular scenery and friendliest folks anywhere! If you live in the country...or wish you did, then this is your magazine.  To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=389 To visit our website, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=390 Country Woman puts you "in touch" with other women who love country living as much as you do. Enjoy recipes, decorating, crafting and more! To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=391 To visit our website, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=392 ********** Country Store Featured Item: Cow Wind Chimes Visit: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=954 ********** HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter! This email was sent to: $$email$$ If this newsletter was forwarded to you, you can sign up for yourself. Visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=394 ********** TO CANCEL your newsletter at any time, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=395&email=$$email$$&OptID=38 TO UPDATE your e-mail address and other information, please visit http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=396 ********** Copyright 2004 Reiman Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved. 5400 S. 60th St., P.O. Box 991, Greendale WI 53129-0991 1-800/344-6913