Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff! Flag Day and Father's Day may be behind us, but here's a silly suggestion: Run one (or more) of these gags up the flag pole and see if Dad salutes!

Secret of Long Marriage

AT A PARTY celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, the husband was asked to share the secret to such a long relationship. "That's easy," he replied. "First and foremost, you have to love your partner. And if you have an argument, the wife should always have the last word. If the husband has the last word, that's just the start of another argument."

AUTUMN!  With the countryside aglow in spectacular fall colors, September and early October bring out the leaf-watchers all across North America.  And there's no better way to take a peek yourself than on a colorful Fall Foliage Adventure with World Wide Country Tours, the Exclusive Tour Operator for Reiman Publications. Choose from 13 dazzling destinations, including:

Autumn in New England
River Barge Autumn Adventure
Philadelphia Freedom & Amish Country
Blue Ridge Country Holiday
Around Lake Michigan
Ohio's Amish Country
Best of New York State

Click here for all your choices and itineraries.

Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications
1-800/344-6918

A HARRIED HOUSEWIFE spent much of the day preparing dinner for company. That evening as they were ready to eat, she asked her 3-year-old daughter to say the blessing. The little girl was shy and told her mom she didn't know what to say. Her mother instructed, "Just say what you've heard Mommy say." So the youngster bowed her little head and said, "Oh, Lord, why did I invite these people to have supper with us? Amen."

HERE'S a favorite tongue-twister from Robert S. of Freedom, Indiana:

A tooter who tooted the flute

Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.

Said the two to the tooter,

"Is it harder to toot,

Or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

Let the Games Begin!

THE Summer Olympics are coming up, and athletes are training in barnyards across America!

To see what we mean, click here.

DURING horse-and-buggy days in the Deep South, a preacher rode 15 miles in blistering heat to preside at a small-town  church service. When he got to the church, only one man was there. The man told the preacher, "I'm sure no one else will be coming--you may as well go back home."

"Nonsense," replied the preacher. "If you went to feed your cows and there was only one, would you go home and not feed the one cow?" The man agreed that he would feed the one cow. So the determined preacher began delivering his sermon and went on and on.

After an hour, the man stood up and interrupted. "If only one cow showed up, I'd feed her...but I sure wouldn't give her the whole load!"

A SECOND-GRADER came home one afternoon with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face. "Mother," he said, "suppose you were walking along and a bear started chasing you. If there was a deep ditch on one side and a high bank on the other side and a church full of people in front of you, what would you do?"

Without hesitation, the boy's mother replied, "I'd run into the church, of course." The boy shook his head as the twinkle deepened and the smile broadened. "You'd really go to church with a bear behind?"

HAVE YOU HEARD the one about the woman who married several times? Her first husband was a millionaire...her second was an actor...the third was a minister...and the fourth an undertaker. That's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!

AN OLD FARMER and his wife had scrimped and saved to send their son off to college. Four years later, the young man graduated with honors. Then he came back home to work on the farm.

The old farmer was downtown one day picking up supplies and ran into his neighbor, who asked, "Now that Johnny's back from college, do you notice a change in him?" The old farmer scratched his head and replied, "Well, before he left, he'd tell the mule, 'Whoa, Becky...Giddap, go!' when he was plowing. Now he says, 'Halt, Rebecca...pivot and proceed!'"

A Hamburger Humdinger

COWABUNGA! This humorous T-shirt spills the beans about burgers in an eye-catching, rib-tickling way. Printed on red, this 100% cotton shirt will be the talk of your next get-together. It reads "Hamburgers are made of WHAT?" Straight bottom. U.S-made and imported.

To order the Hamburgers T-shirt from Country Store On-line, click here.

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