Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff! Memorial Day is just around the corner, and you've likely got a cookout coming up. Along with the burgers and dogs, serve some of the good clean gags below...just remember, it's not polite to talk with your mouth full!

One Smart Dog

TWO MEN were talking, and one kept bragging that his bird dog was the best one alive. "My dog refuses to point unless he has a bird," the man assured. About that time, the dog took off and pointed at a boy who was walking down some nearby railroad tracks. The dog's owner told the other man that the boy must have a bird on him and went over to find out.

As they approached, he asked the boy if he had a bird in his pocket. He didn't--in fact, there was no bird anywhere on his person. As the men walked off, the dog's owner was completely perplexed about his dog's failure. Suddenly he stopped and called back to the boy, asking him his name. "Bob," came the reply. "And your last name?" "White."

Knock, Knock.
Who's There?
Roy and Ann...

No joking!  Roy Reiman, the founder of Reiman Publications, and Country Woman editor Ann Kaiser are waiting to welcome you to their hometown of Greendale, Wisconsin this summer. 

It's all part of World Wide Country Tours exclusive Old-Fashioned Small Town Holiday Tour...featuring a special "behind the scenes" tour of Reiman Publications...the historic village of Greendale...and much more! 

Plus you'll personally meet Roy and Ann, who'll share their fascinating stories--complete with lots of rib-tickling anecdotes!

Best of all, as a subscriber to The Laugh Letter, you'll SAVE $50 per person--and that's no laughing matter! 

So don't delay! Click here for a complete itinerary of this fun-filled summer weekend.

Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications
1-800/344-6918

DISCUSSING problems in their various churches, three ministers all agreed that bats in the church bell towers were a major challenge. The first minister said, "We patched all the holes in the tower, but the bats still get in." The second minister nodded. "We had the tower fumigated, but the bats are still around."

The third minister smiled. "I think I have the problem solved," he replied. "I caught all of the bats and baptized them. They haven't been back to church since!"

WE'RE not talking about loud music, though.

To see what we mean, click here.

A FARMER named Otis had a horse for sale. A fellow from town stopped to inquire about it. "How much do you want for the horse?" the man asked Otis. "Only $50," Otis replied. "But I have to tell you the horse doesn't look too good." The fellow wanted to see the horse anyway. After inspecting the animal, he offered Otis $45. "You just bought yourself a horse," Otis said.

A couple days later, the fellow from town came back to talk to Otis. "That horse you sold me is blind," he grumbled. Otis shrugged. "I told you he didn't look too good," he reminded.

ON A PARK BENCH, a couple of old-timers ruminated on their marriages. "I came from such a large family that I didn't get to sleep alone until I got married," said one.

The other nodded knowingly. "I miss the big meals my Mom used to serve. My wife is not a very good cook--now I pray before, during and after each meal."

A SMALL TOWN experienced rapid growth, and the local church congregation soon outgrew its building. A committee was formed to plan and build a modern new church. The members told the minister to take care of the flock and they would handle all the details of church construction.

As the new building neared completion, the committee chairman invited the minister to tour their new house of worship. Entering through the main doors, the minister noted that there was only one pew. The chairman smiled. "People always fill the last pew first, so we had a special feature installed," he explained. He pressed a button on the wall, and the pew moved forward and another pew popped up behind it! The minister was duly impressed.

The big day finally arrived for the first service in the new church. The minister watched as the pews filled from the back and then moved forward. He was ecstatic. When it was time for the sermon, the minister was so filled with joy and goodwill that he delivered his prepared message and then some.

At 12 o'clock, he was still sharing the good word with no sign of stopping. That's when the chairman pressed another button. The church bells began to ring...and the pulpit and minister slowly descended from view!

BACK in the old days, small grocery stores sold whole chickens that were kept on ice in a wooden barrel. One day a man came in late and wanted a chicken. The grocer went to the barrel and pulled out the only one he had left. The customer shook his head. "Don't you have a bigger one?" he asked.

The grocer lowered the chicken back into the barrel, pretended to grab another, then brought out the same chicken. "How about this one?" he said. The customer looked it over and replied, "Still too small. I'll take them both."

A Cat Tale

A CITY BOY was visiting his cousin on the farm, and the two spotted a stray cat in the barnyard. "How can you tell if it's a boy cat or a girl cat?" asked the city boy. "I'm not sure," replied his cousin. "But my dad can tell--he picks it up, turns it over and looks at the bottoms of its feet!"

THIS side-splitting video brings back the unforgettable days when the zany antics of Red Skelton enchanted the country. Red Skelton: America's Clown Prince features over 4-1/2 hours of pantomimes, pratfalls, skits and lovable characters like Freddy the Freeloader and Clem Kadiddlehopper. Red's moving rendition of the Pledge of Allegiance is here, too! Color and black-and-white. Available on VHS and DVD.

To order Red Skelton: America's Clown Prince from Country Store On-line, click here.

HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter!

 This email was sent to: $$email$$

 If this newsletter was forwarded to you, you can sign up for yourself.  Click here.

**********

 TO CANCEL your newsletter at any time, click here.

TO UPDATE your e-mail address and other information, please click here.

**********