NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=363&firstname=$$firstname$$&emailaddress=$$email$$ ========== Laugh Letter - April 2004 Dear $$firstname$$, Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff! It's been said that April showers bring May flowers...but if you're stuck indoors by a spring storm, the silly stories below are sure to bring some sunshine to your day. (If the weather's fine, they'll double your pleasure!) ********** Chain Reaction A YOUNG LOGGER came across an older woodsman using a single-blade saw and stopped to talk. "If you got yourself a chain saw, you could cut 3 cords of wood a day," the young logger informed. The next day, the woodsman went to town and bought a chain saw. He went to the forest and cut 1 cord of wood. Getting up at first light the next day, he managed to cut only 1-1/2 cords. The third day produced the same results. Unimpressed, he decided to return the chain saw. When the shopkeeper asked what was wrong, the woodsman said, "I was told I could cut 3 cords of wood a day with a chain saw. I tried for 3 days, and the most l ever cut was 1-1/2 cords." The shopkeeper was surprised. "Let me take a look at it," he replied. When he pulled on the starter handle, the chain saw roared to life. The startled woodsman jumped back and shouted, "What's that noise?" ********** Great Thoughts in Travel... Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? No matter how you pack, there's no more relaxing way to travel than with World Wide Country Tours, the Exclusive Tour Operator for Reiman Publications. Join us for a colorful Fall Foliage Adventure to any of 13 dazzling destinations, including: East: Philadelphia Freedom & Amish Country -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=494 Autumn in New England -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=495 Best of New York State -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=496 Middle-America: River Barge Autumn Adventure -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=497 Blue Ridge Country Holiday -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=498 Around Lake Michigan -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=499 Ohio's Amish Country -- Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=500 For all your choices and itineraries, visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=493 ========== CHECK OUT OUR LATEST SPECIAL SAVINGS! Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=501 ========== World Wide Country Tours Exclusive Tour Operator of Reiman Publications 1-800/344-6918 Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=493 ********** Now That's Cold IT was unseasonably cold in many parts of the country this spring. In fact, it was so cold in Washington. D.C. that the politicians were walking around with their hands in their own pockets! ********** Next Stop... A TRAIN was traveling through central Illinois when the conductor called out the first stop, "Arcola!" A few miles down the tracks, he yelled the next stop, "Tuscola!" A wisecracking salesman walked up to the conductor and asked, "Is the next stop Coca-Cola?" "No," replied the conductor, "it's Champaign." ********** Need a Lift? HITCHHIKING can be humorous when the passengers--and the drivers--have four legs! To see what we mean, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=368 ********** Praying for Rain ONE YEAR during a lengthy dry spell, a priest in a rural community scheduled a Mass to pray for rain. There were two elderly bachelor brothers living on a farm nearby who did not attend church services very often, so the good priest drove out to personally invite them to come. On the appointed day, only one of the brothers came to Mass. After the service, the priest told him, "It's sure good to see you here. But where is your brother?" Caught off guard, the farmer quickly answered, "He had to stay home to close the windows!" ********** What’s Ailing You? A MAN walked into a doctor's office. The receptionist asked him what he had. "Shingles," he said. The receptionist took down his name, phone number and insurance information and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later, a nurse’s aide took the man to an examining room and asked what he had. "Shingles," he said. The aide took his height, weight and medical history, then told him to wait. Half an hour later, a nurse came in and asked the man what he had. "Shingles," he said. The nurse took his blood pressure and told him to undress and wait for the doctor. An hour later, the doctor came in and asked the man what he had. "Shingles," the man said. "Where?" asked the doctor. "Outside in the truck," the man said. "I'm here to fix the roof." ********** Quick and Easy Recipe WHILE having dinner at a great Mexican restaurant, a couple overheard a man at the next table tell the waitress, "My wife used to make the most delicious pot roasts, vegetable dishes, salads and desserts. Now all she ever makes are reservations." Leaning over to join the conversation, the first man quickly chimed in, "She must have given my wife her recipe." ********** Icy Conditions THIS NOTICE appeared in a small-town newspaper the day after a bad spring ice storm: "Due to the weather, there will be no weather maps." ********** Say "Howdy" to Howdy Doody THE most beloved children's entertainer from 1950s television is back in this fun-filled 2-video set! Howdy Doody features four classic "lost episodes" on each tape--all in full color. You and your grandchildren will laugh, sing and be thoroughly entertained by Howdy Doody and pals Buffalo Bob, Clarabell the Clown and more. At approximately 86 minutes per video, you'll enjoy almost 3 hours of great memories and wholesome family fun! Color, VHS. To order the Howdy Doody video from Country Store On-line, visit: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=897 ========== THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including... Country is your "window" to the most spectacular scenery and friendliest folks anywhere! If you live in the country...or wish you did, then this is your magazine.  To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=364 To visit our website, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=365 Country Woman puts you "in touch" with other women who love country living as much as you do. Enjoy recipes, decorating, crafting and more! To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=366 To visit our website, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=367 ********** Country Store Featured Item: Overheard at the Country Cafe Visit: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=898 ********** HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter! This email was sent to: $$email$$ If this newsletter was forwarded to you, you can sign up for yourself. Visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=369 ********** TO CANCEL your newsletter at any time, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=370&email=$$email$$&OptID=38 TO UPDATE your e-mail address and other information, please visit http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=371 ********** Copyright 2004 Reiman Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved. 5400 S. 60th St., P.O. Box 991, Greendale WI 53129-0991 1-800/344-6913