NOTE--To see an on-line version of this newsletter, copy this link and paste it into your web browser: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=281&firstname=$$firstname$$&emailaddress=$$email$$ ========== Laugh Letter - January 2004 Dear $$firstname$$, Happy New Year from the Laugh Letter staff! If you resolved to have more fun this year, we're here to help. If you resolved to lose some weight, well...a good, hearty laugh must burn up a few calories, right? ********** Warming Up Was Stinky Business HE GREW UP poor in West Texas, but Edwin C. of Knoxville, Tennessee says his family was always "in the chips"...cow chips, that is. "Wood was scarce," Edwin explains, "so in winter, we had to burn cow chips for heat. Our family had a few cattle, but not enough to supply fuel for the winter. So we 'mined' the chips left behind by herds driven past our place to market." As soon as a herd had moved on, Edwin's entire family visited the trail--pitchforks in hand--to turn over each individual chip to dry. "After they were turned over, the chips became private property," Edwin says. "This was an unwritten law. "It took many wagonloads to fill up our 'chip shed' each fall. The smaller kids would gather dried chips in sacks, and when they were full, the big kids would dump them in the wagon to haul home." The whole family felt satisfied and secure when the chip shed was filled to the brim for winter. "I've often thought there should be some sort of monument erected to the one thing that enabled families like ours to survive winters on the rugged plains of Texas," Edwin chuckles. "As to what the monument would look like...well, I'll leave that to your own imagination!" ********** Looking to have some fun in 2004? Then take a vacation with the friendly folks of Reiman Publications and explore exciting corners of the United States, Canada and Europe! We're always on the go seeing great sights and meeting the local people who call their beautiful region of the world home-sweet-home! Don't feel like a tourist, travel with us and be treated as a welcomed guest. Enjoy an armchair tour of over 50 fun-filled vacations world-wide! Visit: http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=381 PLUS, we're making it even easier for you to pack your back and see the world with us. Simply reserve your 2004 vacation by Jan. 31st and you'll receive a Wheeled Carry-On Bag--FREE! (a $69 value). Just mention code LL01. Offer cannot be combined with other offers. Limit one carry-on per household/per tour. World Wide Country Tours 1-800/344-6918 http://www.countrytours.com/rd.asp?id=381 ********** No Snow Job WHEN a country school resumed classes after several snow days, the teacher asked an 8-year-old student if he had used the time off constructively. "Yes, ma'am," he replied. "I prayed for more snow!" ********** Donkey Logic FARMER JONES bought a donkey, but he couldn't get the donkey into his barn because its ears would hit the top of the door, at which point the donkey would stop and refuse to go any further. Not to be outdone, Farmer Jones carefully cut out two big notches above the door so the donkey's ears could pass through. A neighbor who'd been watching all of these goings-on asked Farmer Jones why he didn't just dig a trench in the dirt floor instead. "Because," replied Farmer Jones, "it wasn't his feet that were the problem--it was his ears." ********** Off-Road Vehicle SUVs are popular these days, but in rural Wisconsin one driver has taken trucking to new heights. To see what we mean, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=272 ********** Udderly Defeated A YOUNG LAWYER was called in from the big city to represent a railroad company being sued by a farmer. It seems that the farmer's prize cow was missing from a field through which the railroad passed, and the farmer was suing for the value of the cow. Before the case was to be tried by a justice of the peace in the local general store, the lawyer convinced the farmer to settle out of court for half of what he originally wanted. After the farmer signed some papers and accepted the check, the young lawyer couldn't help but gloat about his success. "You know, I hate to tell you this, but I couldn't have won the case--I didn't have a single witness to put on the stand." With a wry smile, the old farmer replied, "Well, young feller, I was a little worried about winning the case myself. That cow came home this morning." ********** No Encores, Please A PROUD FATHER called the local newspaper to report the birth of twins. The operator didn't quite understand the message and asked, "Will you repeat that?" "Not if I can help it!" replied the new dad. ********** Good Advice to Follow DRIVING through a small town, a city couple pulled up behind a horse trailer carrying two horses. Their rounded rumps were visible above the trailer doors, and their long tails blew gently in the breeze. The impatient city folks were about to pull around--until they spotted a sign between the strands of flying hair: "Don't be what you see...please drive carefully!" ********** Easy Diagnosis A MAN was concerned about the nature of his dreams, so he consulted with his doctor. "You've got to help me, Doc," he said. "Last night I dreamed I was a teepee...and the night before that, I dreamed I was a wigwam." The doctor nodded knowingly. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're just too tents." ********** He-e-e-re's Johnny! NOW you and your family can enjoy the most memorable moments of America's favorite late night TV show! Four videos feature the best of Johnny Carson and The Tonight Show from the '60s through the '90s, including the wittiest monologues, dozens of show-biz legends, great comedians and Johnny's hilarious skits. Plus, you get a FREE BONUS TAPE, "Johnny's Animal Hijinks". To order the Johnny Carson 5-Video Set from Country Store On-line, visit: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/rd.asp?id=805 ========== THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including... Country Discoveries is for folks who love to explore scenic "off-the-beaten-path" places. Discover charming small towns...home-style eateries...cozy inns and more. It's perfect for planning your next getaway! To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=273 Reminisce takes you on a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Written by its readers, each issue is packed with page after page of personal memories and heartwarming nostalgia. To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=274 ********** Country Store Featured Item: Overheard at the Country Cafe Visit: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=806 ********** HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter! This email was sent to: $$email$$ If this newsletter was forwarded to you, you can sign up for yourself. Visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=275 ********** TO CANCEL your newsletter at any time, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=276 TO UPDATE your e-mail address and other information, please visit http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=277 ********** Copyright 2004 Reiman Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved.