Dear friend,

Happy New Year from the Laugh Letter staff! If you resolved to have more fun this year, we're here to help. If you resolved to lose some weight, well...a good, hearty laugh must burn up a few calories, right?

Warming Up Was Stinky Business

HE GREW UP poor in West Texas, but Edwin C. of Knoxville, Tennessee says his family was always "in the chips"...cow chips, that is.

"Wood was scarce," Edwin explains, "so in winter, we had to burn cow chips for heat. Our family had a few cattle, but not enough to supply fuel for the winter. So we 'mined' the chips left behind by herds driven past our place to market."

As soon as a herd had moved on, Edwin's entire family visited the trail--pitchforks in hand--to turn over each individual chip to dry. "After they were turned over, the chips became private property," Edwin says. "This was an unwritten law.

"It took many wagonloads to fill up our 'chip shed' each fall. The smaller kids would gather dried chips in sacks, and when they were full, the big kids would dump them in the wagon to haul home." The whole family felt satisfied and secure when the chip shed was filled to the brim for winter.

"I've often thought there should be some sort of monument erected to the one thing that enabled families like ours to survive winters on the rugged plains of Texas," Edwin chuckles. "As to what the monument would look like...well, I'll leave that to your own imagination!"

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No Snow Job

WHEN a country school resumed classes after several snow days, the teacher asked an 8-year-old student if he had used the time off constructively.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied. "I prayed for more snow!"

Donkey Logic

FARMER JONES bought a donkey, but he couldn't get the donkey into his barn because its ears would hit the top of the door, at which point the donkey would stop and refuse to go any further.

Not to be outdone, Farmer Jones carefully cut out two big notches above the door so the donkey's ears could pass through. A neighbor who'd been watching all of these goings-on asked Farmer Jones why he didn't just dig a trench in the dirt floor instead.

"Because," replied Farmer Jones, "it wasn't his feet that were the problem--it was his ears."

Off-Road Vehicle

SUVs are popular these days, but in rural Wisconsin one driver has taken trucking to new heights.
To see what we mean, click here.

Udderly Defeated

A YOUNG LAWYER was called in from the big city to represent a railroad company being sued by a farmer. It seems that the farmer's prize cow was missing from a field through which the railroad passed, and the farmer was suing for the value of the cow.

Before the case was to be tried by a justice of the peace in the local general store, the lawyer convinced the farmer to settle out of court for half of what he originally wanted.

After the farmer signed some papers and accepted the check, the young lawyer couldn't help but gloat about his success. "You know, I hate to tell you this, but I couldn't have won the case--I didn't have a single witness to put on the stand."

With a wry smile, the old farmer replied, "Well, young feller, I was a little worried about winning the case myself. That cow came home this morning."

No Encores, Please

A PROUD FATHER called the local newspaper to report the birth of twins. The operator didn't quite understand the message and asked, "Will you repeat that?"

"Not if I can help it!" replied the new dad.

Good Advice to Follow

DRIVING through a small town, a city couple pulled up behind a horse trailer carrying two horses. Their rounded rumps were visible above the trailer doors, and their long tails blew gently in the breeze.

The impatient city folks were about to pull around--until they spotted a sign between the strands of flying hair: "Don't be what you see...please drive carefully!"

Easy Diagnosis

A MAN was concerned about the nature of his dreams, so he consulted with his doctor. "You've got to help me, Doc," he said. "Last night I dreamed I was a teepee...and the night before that, I dreamed I was a wigwam."

The doctor nodded knowingly. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're just too tents."

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