Dear friend,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff! With Thanksgiving almost here (and recently celebrated in Canada), we figured it's a good time to share some rib-tickling turkey tales. Afterward, you'll find several side-splitting "side dishes". Enjoy!

The Gravy Trainer

"ONCE during a family gathering at Thanksgiving, my daughters-in-law complained that they didn't know how to make good gravy," recalls Margaret R. of Danville, Virginia. "So I proceeded to give them a demonstration.

"I began with shortening and flour in the frying pan and mixed it until it was smooth, taking care not to brown it. Then I added chicken broth that I had taken out of the freezer.

"The gravy cooked up nice and thick...but to my surprise, it looked foamy. And that wasn't the only problem.

"After everyone was seated and had begun eating, one of my sons said, 'This gravy tastes sweet!'

"Suddenly I knew what was wrong--instead of chicken broth, I'd grabbed an unmarked container of pineapple juice from the freezer!"

Ever since that day, Margaret has marked everything she puts in the freezer...and her daughters-in-law are thankful they learned how NOT to make gravy.

Turkey Tour

"HERE in Minnesota," writes Lu G. from Minnetrista, "we gain a huge 'extra refrigerator' each winter--the garage. When temperatures fall, I sometimes store food inside my car there.

"One year, my Thanksgiving turkey was in the backseat, all ready to pop into the oven. Indoors, other dinner preparations were underway.

"My son-in-law was off on an errand, and my daughter wanted to visit a friend who was also in town for the holiday. Since her husband had their car, she asked to borrow mine.

"Reminding her to be back in time for dinner, I handed over the keys. After she drove off, I went in the kitchen to put the turkey in the oven...and suddenly realized it was still in my car!

"It took a few frantic phone calls to track my daughter--and the turkey--down. Fortunately, dinner was only 2 hours late. That bird had gotten a 45-mile scenic ride...and we had a 'turkey trot' story forevermore."

Gobbling the Mail

STUFFING letters into the mailbox is easy when the postman visits the Les J. residence in Swain, New York.

To see why, click here.

A SALESMAN was driving through the country when a severe windstorm blew up.

The wind was blowing so hard that a herd of cattle he passed was leaning precariously at a 45-degree angle. Concerned about their safety, the salesman drove to the farmer's house to warn him.

The farmer saw him drive up and came out to the car, battling the fierce winds all the way. He asked what was wrong, and the salesman explained that his cattle were dangerously close to tipping over.

"Oh, don't worry about that," the farmer replied nonchalantly. "That's how I get lean beef."

"LAST FALL, my daughter Lois and a friend stopped by my garden to get some tomatoes," recalls Gene S. of Creston, California.

"Some of my tomato plants were 7 feet tall, and my daughter's friend said she'd never seen tomatoes so tall.

"My daughter had a ready explanation: 'With all the compost Dad puts into the ground for fertilizer, the tomatoes have to grow that tall just to breathe some fresh air!'"

"MY BROTHER Ed and his wife Kate were driving to a nearby town to shop for a new pickup truck," relates Dale B. of Nunn, Colorado.

"They arrived at noon, and Kate suggested they stop at a local cafe for lunch. But Ed said he wanted to find the dealership first, so they kept on driving.

"Unfortunately, Ed took a wrong turn and ended up on the freeway. They had to drive for miles before finding a place to get off and turn around.

"When they finally got back to the cafe, Ed ordered a hot beef sandwich. After it was served, he complained that the gravy was cold.

"Kate was unsympathetic. 'That's your own fault,' she replied. 'If you had stopped when I suggested, the gravy would've been hot!'"

FOR YEARS, the wife of a country preacher kept a small wooden box in their bedroom. She always told him not to open it, and for many years, he was able to resist. But one day while she was out visiting, the temptation proved too great.

He opened the box and was surprised to find two eggs and a huge wad of money. The discovery left him more confused than ever.

When his wife returned, the preacher immediately confessed. "I'm sorry--I couldn't resist opening the box. Now I can't figure out what the eggs and the money mean."

His wife smiled. "Well," she explained, "every time you preach a boring sermon, I put an egg in the box."

He thought it over and said, "Hey, that's not bad--just two eggs. Now, what about all the money?"

She shrugged. "Every time I save up a dozen eggs, I sell them and put the money in the box!'"

Good Deal

A CITY COUPLE rented a country cabin from a farmer for the summer. When they asked him what he did with his garbage, he told them he fed it to his pigs. So they proceeded to buy a small porker for the reasonable price of $25.

By summer's end, the pig had really grown. The couple asked the farmer if he wanted to buy it back. "How much do you want for it?" he asked.

The city fellow replied, "Well, we bought it new for $25, and now it's used...so you can have it for $15."

YOU WILL in our humorous Square-Dancing Tractors video! You'll tap your toes and laugh out loud as you watch a nationally known group of Iowa farmers who gussied up their restored tractors to perform some hilarious courtly maneuvers for the delight of audiences at county fairs and festivals.

"The Farmall Promenade" is just like a square dance, complete with music and a caller. Enjoy this unique tribute to country culture in your own home with a 57-minute, full-color video. Also makes a memorable gift for an antique-tractor or square-dancing enthusiast.

To order the Square-Dancing Tractors video from Country Store On-line, click here.