Dear $$firstname$$,

Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff! Halloween is just around the corner, so we decided to focus on the scariest topics we could think of: doctors, lawyers and teenagers. Watch out--you may find yourself screaming with laughter!

Now That Figures

A WORRIED PATIENT pressed the doctor about his diagnosis. "Are you sure it's pneumonia?" he asked. "I've heard of cases where a doctor treated a patient for pneumonia, and the patient died from something else."

"Don't worry," the doctor assured him. "When I treat a patient for pneumonia, he dies of pneumonia."

Serious Business

A YOUNG SURGEON got a call from a colleague inviting him over for a poker foursome.

"Emergency, dear?" asked his wife sympathetically.

"I'm afraid so," the doctor replied bravely. "It's a serious case--three other doctors are already there."

Ins and Outs

A FELLOW went to the doctor for a physical examination. The doctor found him fit as a fiddle, with no sign of any ailments...but when the man left the office, he dropped dead right outside the door.

The nurse hurried in and told the doctor, "That man you just examined fell dead on his way out! What shall we do?"

The doctor replied, "Go turn him around so it looks like he was coming in." --Helene N., LaGrange, Indiana

Just a Figure of Speech

THE DOCTOR was making a house call. His patient said, "It's mighty nice of you to come all the way out here to see me."

"Oh, don't mention it," replied the doctor. "I had another patient in this part of town, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone."

So THAT'S Where

FORGET what the doctor told you...to see where babies really come from, click here.

Flat Broke

A PRISONER stood before the judge, awaiting sentencing on his conviction. The judge asked, "Have you anything to offer this court before I pass sentence?"

"Nope," said the prisoner. "My lawyer took every last penny."

Ups and Downs

THERE'S an elevator between heaven and hades, and it's the devil's responsibility to keep it running. One day, after the elevator had broken down for the umpteenth time, St. Peter lost his temper.

"Devil," he warned, "if you don't get that elevator running and keep it running, we're going to sue."

"You've got to be kidding," scoffed the devil. "Where will you find a lawyer up there?"

Swimming with Sharks

A DOCTOR, a minister and a lawyer huddled together in a tiny lifeboat. The water around them was filled with sharks.

Suddenly the lifeboat began to fill with water. As they furiously bailed, they noticed a sign that read: "Maximum capacity 2 persons." They decided to draw straws to see who'd jump overboard.

The lawyer drew the short straw and promptly jumped into the water. As he swam away, the sharks didn't attack--instead, they drew back to make a path for him.

Amazed, the doctor turned to the minister and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"That's no miracle," responded the minister. "Just professional courtesy."

Their True Colors?

A TEENAGED GIRL asked her friend, "Why do older women color their hair?"

The friend shrugged. "Because they'd rather dye than show their age?"

Teenage Logic

FOLLOWING a fender-bender, the teenaged driver pointed to the damage and said, "Great news, Dad--you haven't been pouring those insurance payments down the drain after all!"

HILARIOUS quips and anecdotes from the mouths of readers' children and grandchildren fill our new book, Little Humor.

You get 500 side-splitting "originals" guaranteed to put a smile on your face. These refreshing one-liners reveal what's going on in those little minds!

Hardcover, full-color photos on 160 pages. Measures 6-1/8" x 8-3/8".

To order Little Humor from Country Store On-line, click here.

THE TROUBLE with always being on time is that nobody else is there to appreciate it.

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