Laugh Letter - August, 2003 Dear $$firstname$$, Greetings from the Laugh Letter staff! Deep thinkers here have discovered that family, farming and fishing all have one thing in common: the letter "f". What a coincidence--that's also the first letter in FUNNY! Read on and see what we mean... ********** Family Funnies A Father-Son Talk A FATHER was convinced that the younger generation wasn't as industrious as his own. "Son," he said, "when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was out splitting rails." "I know, Dad," his son replied. "And when he was your age, he was president." Quiet Night at Home AS THEY pulled into their driveway after an evening at the movies, a couple could hear the stereo blasting away inside the house. They walked in and found their teenage son sitting by the throbbing speakers with a video game in his hands. The father turned down the stereo and asked the teen what he'd been doing all evening. "Nothing much," the youth replied. "Just enjoying the peace and quiet of being home alone." Monster Alert WAKING from a nightmare, a 6-year-old began calling for his mother. "There's a monster under my bed, Mommy!" he exclaimed. His mother looked under the bed and found nothing but an accumulation of little-boy treasures. She assured him he needn't worry, because no monster could possibly fit under there. Without hesitation, he replied earnestly, "It's a flat monster, Mom!" --Donna G., Trenton, Illinois Hug the Cook MY 7-year-old granddaughter was sitting on the kitchen counter as we baked cookies together. I gave her a squeeze and told her I was sad she was growing up so fast and that our fun times would eventually come to an end. Erin gave me a big hug in return and said, "Don't worry, Grandma--you'll always be able to cook for me." --Bess M., Eugene, Oregon ********** Agricultural Antics Sparked an Idea A FARMER had never been to a big-city restaurant before, and the maitre d' wouldn't admit him without a necktie. "Don't you have one you could loan me?" the farmer asked. "They're all loaned out," the maitre d' replied. Undaunted, the farmer returned to his pickup, hoping to find something he could use as a necktie. Soon he was back inside with a pair of jumper cables tied around his neck. "Will this do?" he asked. "Well, okay..." the maitre d' said. "But don't start anything." --Sid A., Springfield, Missouri Geese and Ganders A CITY GIRL visiting a farm was fascinated by all the animals. As she watched the geese, she exclaimed, "Oh, look at the lovely geese. Tell me, how can you tell the geese from the ganders?" The farmer smiled. "To tell the truth, Miss, I just let them figure it out for themselves." Them's the Breaks WATCHING her father repairing his tractor, a little farm girl asked her mother, "What happens to old tractors when they finally stop working?" Sighing, her mother answered, "Someone sells them to your father, dear." Bumper Crop THANK GOODNESS her son-in-law has plenty of help on the family farm near Sterling, Ohio, says Joan H. To see his tractor trio, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=210 ********** Hook, Line and Laughs Lights Out A FISHERMAN was bragging to a friend about an enormous fish he'd caught, stretching his arms wide to show its size. The friend said, "I was fishing in the same spot and snagged a railroad lantern--and it was still lit." "Still lit?" the fisherman asked suspiciously. "Yes," the friend said. "But if you cut 3 feet off that fish, I'll blow out the lantern." --Ann O., Carlton, Minnesota Casting Call BOB'S fishing trip had been a flop. On his way home, he stopped at the local fish market and asked the clerk to throw 5 of his biggest fish to him. "Throw 'em?" the clerk said. "What for?" "So I can tell my wife I caught 'em," Bob replied. "I may be a lousy fisherman, but I'm not a liar." --Louise E., Fort Madison, Iowa Drop a Line! PLENTY of people write to "Woody", but he prefers to receive catalogs selling fishing gear. To see why, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=211 They Bitin' Today? A FISHERMAN is a guy who thinks a fish should bite on a fancy lure just because he did. --Donna R., Union City, Tennessee ********** Say "Howdy" to Howdy! THE most beloved children's entertainer on television during the 1950s is back in our fun-filled Howdy Doody 2-Video Set! Howdy Doody features four classic "lost episodes" on each tape--all in full color. You and your grandchildren will laugh, sing and be thoroughly entertained by Howdy Doody and pals Buffalo Bob, Clarabell the Clown and more. At approximately 86 minutes per video, you'll enjoy almost 3 hours of great memories and wholesome family fun! Color, VHS. To order the Howdy Doody 2-Video Set from Country Store On-line, visit: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=588 ********** Last Laugh SUMMER is the time when you try to keep the house as cold as it was in winter, when you complained about it. ********** THIS NEWSLETTER is from the editors of some of your favorite magazines, including... Country Discoveries is for folks who love to explore scenic "off-the-beaten-path" places. Discover charming small towns...home-style eateries...cozy inns and more. It's perfect for planning your next getaway! To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=208 Reminisce takes you on a pleasant stroll down memory lane. Written by its readers, each issue is packed with page after page of personal memories and heartwarming nostalgia. To subscribe or give a gift on-line, visit http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=209 ********** Country Store Exclusive Christmas Card Offer! 10% OFF Happy Sledding Memories Personalized Christmas Cards For Laughletter Subscribers! Use Suite Number 6131 When Ordering. Visit: http://www.countrystorecatalog.com/RD.asp?ID=589 ********** HAVE A FRIEND who enjoys good clean fun? Feel free to forward this newsletter! This email was sent to: $$email$$ If this newsletter was forwarded to you, you can sign up for yourself. Visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=212 ********** TO CANCEL your newsletter at any time, visit: http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=213 TO UPDATE your e-mail address and other information, please visit http://www.reimanpub.com/rd.asp?id=214 ********** Copyright 2003 Reiman Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved.